Pregnant and partner walked out

[mum2be2020]

Hi

I am almost 4 months pregnant and my partner of 13 years has walked out on me and our son that is adopted. It has totally came out the blue, I never thought I would be a single mum as he was wanting a baby and everything was great until I was pregnant. I didn’t think I could get pregnant as it’s been so long so I was so happy when I found out. But he wanted me to get an abortion!!! But he knew I would never do that but it hurt so much that he asked more than once.

He doesn’t even want to work things out , he wants me to sell our house as he wants to set up his own place and he can’t do that if he is having to pay bills here. He keeps telling me that I can’t afford to stay by myself! I can and I will . He is not happy that I won’t sell the house when I am pregnant as he doesn’t see it as a problem. I don’t know what to do as this is stressing me out so much and all our son does is ask why daddy doesn’t want to be here anymore and when can he see him. He has seen him a couple times and phoned but not enough.

My now ex partner has said that he will help with money and be there for our son and the baby when it comes. He is not acting like that man I have loved for the last 13 years. He didn’t even go to the scan with me, I had to take my mum and that hurt a lot.

My heart is just so broken at the moment and I am finding it so hard to be excited for my baby but I just feel numb with everything.

Has anyone been through something similar?

[mjd89]

Hi hun, I am going through a very similar thing to you except my partner wanted a baby and the minute I got pregnant and went to the scan he changed. He changed so much that he went MIA for a week and now I believe he is back with his ex who he has a 4 year old with.

I am now on my own receiving abuse from him to get an abortion and living on my own but I will do everything in my power to have a healthy pregnancy and look forward to the best adventure of my life.

Have you got good people around you for support?

It helped me by going through the weeks of my babies development and first things to buy and designing the nursery etc, that’s when it hit me and I found the strength from somewhere!

I really wish you the best, keep your head up…..x x

[scarlet]

I’ve recently found out that I’m 6 wks pregnant . I’m 40 and already have two older children so this wasn’t expected atall . I am also single and really don’t know what to do . I feel if us girls have the support of one another we can get through this .. Being pregnant is tuff in itself with the body change and all different emotions . Where are all you girls  from  ??

[ashortcanadian]

Hi

My partner left me and my 4 year old when I was 8 months pregnant with my second. It definitely affected my feelings towards my expecting baby and how we bonded afterwards.

Go and speak to your midwife asap, as they have connections to other services that are designed to help you through this situation.

My little one is now almost seven months old and with the help of my midwife, health visitor and trauma counsellor I was able to deal with my break up and build an irreplaceable bond with my baby. The surprising aspect to being a single parent is that it’s so much easier than with a partner who isn’t in it 100%. It sometimes sucks to not have a second pair of hands but you get to do everything your way and when you need to, so there is no pressure.

All the best and good luck!

[Ness2020]

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and my partner has told me it’s him or the baby. Iv not been with him or seen him in 10 days it’s really stressing me out i don’t know what to do keep my baby or be with him i feel your pain.

[ashortcanadian]

@Ness2020

You’ve got to do what is best for you. No man is guaranteed to be in our lives forever and if he is putting pressure on you to abort at 20 weeks, he’s not worth it.
Single parenthood is hard but totally do-able with a support system. I would not choose any man over my kids they are what brings joy into my life.
Good luck with whatever you choose.

[scarlet]

If you want this baby then your man should respect this and support you all the way through . Do not abort your baby for any man unless that’s what you really want as you will always live in regret . Life has many challenges . We all work round them in the end . Imagine if you abort the baby and your man doesn’t get back with you . You will no doupt feel empty and hollow . Follow your heart and think of yourself

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