Pregnant and on my own
4 November 2019 at 6:17 pm #32492
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant and recently single. I was in a relationship with the baby’s dad, and we lived in a flat that we got together. The pregnancy was a huge shock – I am 23, he is 24, we weren’t sure we were ready. I decided I wanted the baby, and explained he could be as involved as he wanted. After a few days of thinking, he decided he wanted the baby too, and wanted us to be a family.
Only a week or two later, he started to be really off with me whenever I mentioned the baby. Almost like he wasn’t interested or it made him uncomfortable. Then out of nowhere, he decided it wasn’t for him and he had changed his mind and wanted nothing to do with it. I was devastated.
I couldn’t afford to stay in the flat on my own, so I moved back to my Mum’s and he stayed there. A week later, there were videos all over social media of him and a girl from my company (!) in my living room having a ‘date night’. I have no idea how they knew each other, but I was crushed. Not only was I betrayed by him, but the girl I worked with as well. She knew I was pregnant, and knew he was the father, yet put vids of them together all over the place for all of my colleagues to see. It was so humiliating!
I ended up in such a state over it that I realised how much stress I was probably causing my baby. I couldn’t bring myself to eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t focus. I was constantly crying and almost had several panic attacks. I forced myself to snap out of it after a few days, as my baby was more important than them.
Although I’m so lucky to have a lot of support from my friends and family, I can’t help but feel lonely. I see all of these couples in reality and social media who are sharing this amazing time together, and it’s really knocked my confidence. Why does he get to live his life and move on with someone so quickly, in the flat that we had together, having no responsibility, and I have to do this on my own, when we agreed to do it together? I would much rather have my baby than anything else and I’m so grateful, but I just feel unwanted and almost jealous of women who have someone they love going through the pregnancy with them.
Will this lonely feeling go away once the baby is born? Has anyone else felt so lonely when they’ve been pregnant? How did you get through it?
Katy4 November 2019 at 7:21 pm #32494
Oh no im so sorry to read what you are going through at the moment. My ex did the same thing with me and i found out at 7 months pregnant. Once your baby is here you will know what unconditional love will be and you will have all the love for your child. You can feel lonely at times but each day is different. My boy is two now and even with the toddler meltdowns its the best thing I’ve ever achieved xx6 November 2019 at 1:59 am #32598
I am in the same position in you so far as I’m 6 months pregnant and my husband has walked out on me, leaving me and my 3 kids from a previous relationship.
My baby was very much planned and wanted and I thought I was in a stable rock solid marriage. He obviously had different ideas!
The grief and pain I feel right now is unbearable so I completely understand how you feel. I don’t have any words of wisdom I’m afraid, but just know you’re not alone in this. I’m terrified of the future but I know I’ll get through it because theres no other option! And you will too. I’m just trying to surround myself with family and friends and people who actually do care.
And if you do feel lonely please feel free to message me, I’m very lonely too, especially in the evening. We could be there for each other.