Pregnant and now single

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  • #11595 Report


    Just looking for a bit of advice.

    I am 4 months pregnant and my partner has decided he can’t cope with the situation and doesn’t want to try and make things work. We only began seeing each other in December and contraception  didn’t work so baby not planned.  He says he is depressed and constantly goes on about himself, how he wants me to get an abortion and how he won’t have a life anymore.

    I want to be happy but I am feeling very down at the moment thinking about the future as this is not what I planned. I don’t want to carry on seeing the father but I’m struggling to let go. He also lives 5 hours away so can’t see each other that often.

    Any advice?

    #11605 Report


    Only two pieces of advice, based on how you answer:

    1. This relationship is dead and will never be resurrected, whatever you decide.

    2. So, it’s just about how you feel about having the baby – it’s your choice, but you know if you go ahead it will not repair the relationship and by the sounds of it, you’re going to struggle to get him involved, or get any financial support from him, so you really will be on your own.

    You just have to decide what YOU want. He’s out of the equation whatever you decide.

    #11655 Report


    I don’t have any advice for you but I’m in a similar situation myself I got with my ex in October I’m now coming up to 12 weeks pregnant he suffers from depression and just left last Friday saying he needed time txt on Sunday sayin it’s to much he can’t do it and it’s for the best. I understand how your feeling lost scared and lonely I would love for him to come back but I no deep down I’m doing this alone.

    #11671 Report


    Now I sound REALLY old fashioned but if you’re old enough to make a baby within a relationship, you’re old enough for the possible consequences. If he wants out, fine, better you know where you stand right from the start so that you can prepare mentally. He might just be freaking though as it was unexpected (but yey, it’s always a possibility!) My humble advice would be focus on you and the baby and achieving as relaxed and healthy pregnancy as possible under the circumstances. Your relationship is over and now this baby is priority. Don’t be with someone for fear of being on your own, you can do this! Pool positive emotional resources from friends, family, service providers. It’s better to be content, safe and single than anxious and unsettled all the time. He can take time to think what he wants with regards to the baby. It is a shock for all by the sounds of it.

    1. Just my opinion but I hope it sounds ok to you. Stay strong 🙂
    #11712 Report


    Thank you for replies – this is what everyone is telling me but I still don’t bloody listen it’s just so hard at the moment! I foolishly went to see him at the weekend and all okay when I’m there – and now I’ve left it’s back to depressed can’t deal with life and doesn’t want to know. I am leaving him to it now. I know it will get easier eventually.  Thank you.

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