Pregnant and lives on friends sofa

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Sherima 1 week ago.

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  • #27519 Report

    NaomiCates
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    I’m pregnant and I don’t really know what to do with myself. I found out I’m 3 months pregnant after going to the doctors thinking I had a stomach bug ( I’m barely showing at all ).

    I’ve been staying with my 2 guy friends for nearly a year now, but I only sleep on a sofa as it’s a 2 bedroom house, I keep all my stuff in the cupboard under the stairs as their isn’t any other storage space. My friends said there is barely any space for me so if I’m having a child I’ll have to leave. They’re my only friends who had space for me and I don’t have any family around.

    I got pregnant by a one night stand from guy I met a few times out but he’s gone back to Canada and haven’t got any contact details at all. I was on the pill and used protection so I have no idea how this happened.

    I don’t believe in abortions but I only have a part time job and I only get around £300 a month and I cant do anymore because I get mental fatigue or something so I get ill when I’m over worked, but I’m on pills to help with it but I don’t know if I should even still be taking them… I’m stressing!

    sorry if this is more of a rant but I have no idea what to do and where to start or if I’m even lucky to have what I have already.

    Please someone help 🙁

    #27521 Report

    Mummaof2
    Participant

    Hi Naomi,

    If keeping the baby is your final decision then you must think about setting yourself up before the baby arrives. Apply for Universal Credit and council housing. You may qualify for emergency housing because of your situation – I’m not sure. Have you thought about having your baby adopted? I’m sorry to point out the obvious but – babies are life-long commitments. Although my children are my world and will always come first, a part of me resents the commitment & responsibilities.

    I’m sorry that you have no family to rely on. I have two children (1+3) and am in the process of separating from my husband. If you were local I would totally offer to house share with you – where are you based? If you have any parenting questions or just want to chat I’m here.

     

    Lucy

    #27523 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Hi Naomi, if you can’t cope with mental fatigue, are you sure about this pregnancy? A colicky baby can leave you stressed and short of sleep for years. And it’s relentless if you have no support network.

    Do you have family who can help you?Parents?

    If not, and you are sure you want to go ahead, your two friends need to make you homeless. Call the council housing dept & explain your circumstances. Be prepared to end up in a B&b, and not necessarily local, especially if you live somewhere there is a housing shortage.

    Talk to your GP about which medication you can take while pregnant.

    You have 6 months to get settled and to prepare for your little one. Good luck.

    #27559 Report

    Hi Naomicates

    I’m Justine one of the moderators here.  You can always call our single parent helpline for advice and information.  They will be able to help you explore your options. It will take time to get through as they are busy but all calls will be free.

    • Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925

    Opening hours:  Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10- 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4  They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered

    I hope this helps, Justine

    #27562 Report

    Sherima
    Participant

    comment here v negative.  if you are pregnant you would like to be settled in your own home . Hormones , stress about work and pregnancy makes you look at things differently and they will get better once you have a home to call your own and your finances are good  people can bring up children on the their own without support of family. They just have to stay positive and it will be ok in the end

    #27565 Report

    NaomiCates
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    Thank you so much for not judging me..

    I have thought about adoption.. I don’t want too but I can’t bring a child up without anything or anyone. My GP is quite concerned about my health as I have heart disease and high blood pressure which could cause issues apparently.

    Unfortunately I only know my dad but he lives in Australia and has a new family. I’ve lived with my ex boyfriend from the age of 17 and lived with all 3 of his kids.  However he broke up with me because I kept having miscarriages and my constant weight gain. Since then I’ve just been a bit lost.

    After trying constantly to have a child and failing.. I’m now pregnant with an unplanned child with no support or home.

    i live in Milton Keynes so I’m glad I get to stay in a nice town. But ill continue to communicate with my GP and everything.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    #27579 Report

    Sherima
    Participant

    Stay positive and you will be ok ..don’t ever doubt yourself and what people say because they are not in your shoes. Stay away from negative people because your child will bring you happiness and what ever illness you have you will forget it because your child will make u feel better . You will meet good people on your travels like I did and I’m blessed because of my girl and that I stayed positive. I had 6 miscarriage with my ex and put on weight from various ops. My gal is  5 years old and I did it all for her and I work too.

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