Pregnant and going through break up..

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  • #19741 Report


    So I am 20 weeks pregnant today and about 3 weeks ago my partner ended things as he decided he no longer wants our baby and was telling me I should get an abortion as he will not be part of the babies life etc. The baby wasn’t planned as we haven’t been together that long (few months), but we found out when I was 6 weeks gone and agreed without any hesitation we was going ahead with this. I had worries and concerns but he reassured me that everything was fine. I moved in his house and we got the house all decorated ready for us and the baby and then he turns around after 11 weeks of playing happy families and decides this. Obviously i refused to have an abortion after being excited about the baby for so long and going to scans etc, so I have had to move home with my parents and I’m struggling to deal with it all. Anybody else been in a similar situation or got some advice on how to make this a little easier!?

    #19745 Report



    Sorry to hear about your situation and the loser of a man you unfortuntely hooked up with.

    It must be a very scarey and emotional time for you right now.  I think you need to consider maintenance from the offset.  Talk to the CAB up front so you know what you are entitled too.  Obviously this is very, matter of fact stuff, but you will likely need emotional support too, which I am sure your parents will be great at, but others going through the same would also be beneficial.  Maybe invetigate local groups.  Use mums net maybe.

    Always around if you need a chat. P.

    #19752 Report



    I went through a similar situation, my baby is now 5 months.

    I left when I was 5 months pregnant, my ex was swinging from not wanting the baby at all to telling me he’d support me etc etc. He stopped coming home, got further and further in to drugs and drink and it all became a bit too much, so I moved in with my parents and am still here now.

    You can do this. You sound like you have support in your parents. Do you have a good network of friends? I won’t lie, it will be tough going at first and your hormones will be all over the place, but your little one will keep you going – you have to get up each day and get on with it. And each day it does get a little easier.

    I’m now in quite a good place. My ex and I have just started communicating again and now he wants a relationship with the baby. I found out he was seeing someone else a few weeks after the baby was born, which was a further blow.

    Be kind to yourself, make sure you get some time for you. Don’t bury your feelings, make sure you let them out and then carry on. Speak to a professional if you can.

    I follow a podcast called Single Mother Survival Guide and one called Beanstalk single mums, and have found both really helpful and inspirational.

    Just take it one day at a time. And remember, time is a great healer, and where you are and how you feel now is not your ‘forever’. A year from now you will be in a completely different place.

    Everything probably feels very overwhelming right now, but remember to take care of yourself, for you and for your little one.

    I’m always here if you need a chat. Make sure you keep talking, it helps to work through your feelings, especially when you’re pregnant which is the most vulnerable time in a woman’s life.


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