Pregnant and ex now denying his the dad

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Sunnyme 2 months ago.

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  • #26801 Report

    Sunnyme
    Participant

    I am pregnant and initially the father wanted to be a part of mine and baby to be lives. He has since changed his mind.

    He has now moved on with someone else and I am left carrying our baby. He has told me he wants zero contact with baby once born. He said he has contacted CSA and doesn’t have to see the baby just pay. Even going as far as denying he is the father now as me carrying his baby doesn’t sit well with his new girlfriend.

    I am still pregnant and have invited him to appointments and tried to include him in it all. Has anyone had to go through CMS when babies dad is denying Paternity? I have come to terms I am a single mom to be but I have no idea on process in regards to DNA testing and also at what point do I contact CMS to sort out maintenance?

    #26819 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Hiya,

    It sounds as though your going through a very bewildering time, you will get through it though.

    The place to start is to give the gingerbread team a ring on 0808 802 0925, click on the contact link below for more info.

    I suspect that one of the places that the team will signpost you to is called the British pregnancy advisory service 0345 7304030.

    I’m sure after you have spoken to them both you will have a much clearer picture of things.

    All the best

    Mark

    #28140 Report

    Balloongirl
    Participant

    So the father is responsible for paying for the baby from the day the child is born.  If he denies paternity, the Burden of Proof is on HIM to prove he is not but he still has to pay until such a time this has been determined.  So open a case with the CSA as soon as the baby is born, advise him and the CSA (who should be aware but they are not that wonderful there) that the law states the Burden of Proof is on him to prove he is not the father and you are more than willing for a DNA test but expect payments to be made until this is completed, chance are he won’t go through with it as will prove to the new girlfriend he was lying (dent in his ego).

    I was there myself several years ago, cries of ‘It’s not mine’ and ‘she trapped me’ were abundant despite the fact HE refused to use contraception and the child could only be his, but telling a new girl you are trying to impress “well, my ex is pregnant but I don’t want anything to do with the kid so she can just get on with it herself” is not normally the best chat up line, whereas playing the victim will have a desperate and simple woman who is looking for a relationship thinking “poor bloke, I’ll look after him”.

    #28141 Report

    Balloongirl
    Participant

    Sorry CMS not CSA

    #28142 Report

    Sunnyme
    Participant

    Thank you, he has since reappeared and now wants to be a dad (not doubting paternity)

    I have always updated him on bump and will give him a chance to be a dad. I have no intention of getting back together but his inconsistency is frustrating my end. I still have another 3 months of this rubbish off him then the rest of my life no doubt. All I hear off him is ‘don’t expect happy families and don’t expect me to be single forever’. He thinks his god gift and no matter what I say he still thinks I’d take him back (not a chance). My priority is my baby and that’s it

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