I met the father of my child 8 months ago. It was a bumpy relationship and we ended up splitting after 5 months. He is emotionally unavailable and compulsive liar which I was unable to cope with. We found out we were pregnant after he asked me to give him another chance. Since we found out, the relationship has been up and down on a daily basis with constant break ups or not hearing from him for days. On top of this I have had a few stays in hospital due to pregnancy related issues. He has made little effort to visit. His behaviour is very jekyl and Hyde as some days he doesn’t seem to care and others he can’t do enough for me. He says we can be a family If the arguments stop but he’s giving me nothing to work with. He doesn’t show me care or affection. I would give anything for my baby to be born into a family unit but I feel like this will be at the sacrifice of my own happiness. I am unable to work or barely leave the house at present due to my medical condition which makes me feel isolate but he makes little effort. I know if it wasn’t for our baby I would have walked out on him and started over. But I don’t know what to do for the best. Do i sacrifice my happiness and accept the little he offers or do I leave, struggle as a single parent and hope to find some happiness long term. I honestly can not see him changing the way he is after all this time.
Sacrificing your own happiness won’t make your child happy.
You say the father is a liar, is uninvolved, is unemotional and cold and gives you nothing. He seems to want you as a partner if you stop making a fuss. It sounds like he wants a doormat to keep house. Why would you attach yourself to someone who treats you badly?
Your child will be born into a happy family of two, you don’t need him as a third unless he adds something positive. Above all, your baby needs a happy cheerful mum to create a loving home. Being a mum is busy enough without someone dragging you down xx
I totally agree with Kathy, you really don’t need him your life, the way he is treating you is totally wrong. By staying with him you will only harm yourself and your little one, you will also be giving up the chance that one day you will meet someone who can make you happy and who treats you the way that you should be treated.
I know it’s a daunting prospect being a single mum but you can do this, take inspiration from all the warriors here as testament to this.
Another resource you might want to try is thr British pregnancy advisory service 0345 7304030.