Pregnant and alone..
3 September 2018 at 12:19 pm #15374
Hey I’m new to all this.. I’m 31 (next week) and 11 weeks pregnant.. I was on the pill and got caught out.. the father has decided to block me and delete me from everything.. I don’t have any other children.. I have been pregnant in the past but aborted them.. I really want this child but I’m so scared and alone and I’m even just getting rid because it’s the easy way out.. (he would be overly happy if I did that) some of my friends think I’m crazy so think I should get rid.. some tell me I can do this and I’m not alone.. but I’m just looking for help… is there any body else out there in or has been in my situation.. is there people I can talk to ? Sorry to ramble on..3 September 2018 at 3:03 pm #15378
Hi! 13 weeks single and pregnant. I’m 32 and I have another child whose 9 and I was single and pregnant. I was blocked but he’s recently unblocked me. Lucky me. It’s the loneliest time being pregnant and even more so when your single. Feel free to Pm anytime for a chat or to rant. With my youngest I made loads of really supportive friends online who I could share with but it’s been harder this time. Not sure why. 🤷🏻♀️3 September 2018 at 9:05 pm #15387
I totally understand how you feel. I’m 11weeks (also 30yo) and completely on my own. My ex and I planned the baby came off the pill and caught straight away. Never been pregnant before. The only contact I have with my ex is abuse and he questions if the baby is even his. He changed when we found out I was pregnant and then I started suffering from HG he didn’t support me and then kicked me out. Resulting in me being homeless having just started a new job.
I’m getting back on track I have somewhere to live albeit it’s a shared house but it’s a roof over my head.
I’m nowhere near my family or friends. But it’s me and my little bump. Despite everything I’m continuing my pregnancy I also have considered other options but you know were strong women we can do this. I’m sorry your having an equally rough time but your not alone.4 September 2018 at 11:40 pm #15425
Wow like I can’t believe I’m not on my own on this one.. he un blocked me yesterday only to tell me it’s all my fault, but he apparently loves me so that’s why he does it ?? In all fairness I can’t even be bothered with him.. I feel better than I did the other day.. I hope you girls are all ok I’m no good on this internet stuff either ! How are you ? I’m equally as scared as you guys so we can be scared together I guess !!! Xxx6 September 2018 at 10:26 am #15470
I’m 25 weeks with my third. This was an unexpected baby as my now ex actually had a vasectomy! But he never went for his checks afterwards.
We did go to abortion clinic and i was further along than I thought. He asked to see the scan pic, he saw the arms and legs walked out crying. I sat and listened to what I would have to do and decided I couldn’t do it.
Me and him were already on a rocky road but he promised he would be around. He hasn’t not once. I posted today so you can see my story.
But I’d say do not go with what others say. Do what you want to do. Someone said to me you never hear of anybody regretting having a baby but you do an abortion.
That made my choice. It’s going to be hard and your emotions will be all over but there’s a reward at the end and a reason for everything xx9 September 2018 at 8:17 pm #15564
I am in same position – I’m 32 weeks pregnant now and baby’s father disappeared at 16 weeks. Surprise baby so not planned and he couldn’t cope I was pretty much told to get abortion daily – he has recently got back in touch to agree payments but doesn’t want to be involved and talks as if nothing is going on doesn’t ask about me or baby.
Very hard at first I was devastated but turns out the father is not who I thought he was and better off without – now feeling much better and very excited as baby girl will be here very soon! It gets easier just make sure you have support from family and friends.
If you want to chat send a message x11 September 2018 at 10:10 pm #15663
Hi, I’m in the same position. 29 weeks now, had all the same thoughts as you at the start, decided to continue but worry every single day about what it’s gojng to be like I’m so anxious. Would love to chat as you all sound like you’re feeling very similar. X12 September 2018 at 6:47 pm #15692
you girls! It’s scary and everyday my mind changes on what i want, im only very early, but already having two daughters is making the choice harder19 September 2018 at 7:57 pm #15872
Ive just been through this and come out of the other side. It’s such a lonely time! Nobody understands how you feel- not even those who’ve had babies because they’ve firgitten how vulnerable you feel. Preparing for a baby alone can be daunting but also empowering. I have counselling which helped with my anger. Make sure you have someone you want with you at the delivery- you can look into doulas and get them on the NHS I think. I would also be aware of what you name your child if the Dad is in and out of his life. My son has my surname which I’m v glad about now.
I now have a stunning, thriving 4 month old baby boy who I adore. My ex still hasn’t been in touch. Perhaps one day he will be. That’s another phase though!2 October 2018 at 9:55 pm #16438
Hello! 29 weeks with baby no 3. I already have a 2 and 7 year old. Extremely lonely as baby’s father who is supposed to be a friend isn’t being very friendly. Feel really isolated as feel like there’s no one out there who understands and no one to share life with. Where Do you all live?2 October 2018 at 10:00 pm #16439
Hey Mummyof32b im from Merseyside. Hope ur ok3 October 2018 at 1:32 pm #16453
Hi Gingey28 I’m in Gloucestershire. Anyone else in this area?3 October 2018 at 4:09 pm #16457
Hey everyone! I am 22 weeks pregnant and 29 years old. I was living in Malaysia for the last 5 years where I met my boyfriend but suffered a lot of abuse from him and its always been up and down. Just before coming back to England this year, found out i was pregnant unplanned. I decided to stay in England and keep the baby but its very hard because I dont love the father anymore and its very complicated with him being in Malaysia. His family are Muslim and want us to get married which im getting a lot of pressure from. The plan is for him to come over for a month or so on a holiday visa when the baby is due and see how things go but I just dont know! I cant help feeling bad for him and his family even though he has treated me really bad.
Anyone live in South East London area?10 November 2018 at 8:44 pm #17690
Hi everyone i really need advice
I am 35 years old and 6 wks today found out 2 week ago. I am not and have never been i a relationship with the dad, however we have been sexual companions and friends for 5-6 years now. he lives very local to me and some one i will pass regually in my life.
I told him i was pregant and his reaction was abortion is best he already has 3 kids ( which I only knew of 2) he went on to say he dont have contact with 2 of them and he dosent want it either. he feel nothing for those 2 kids. he only care about 1 and if choose to have this baby it will be the same for my baby. he will want nothing to do with me or the baby. I won’t go in to how shocked and hurt i am that this is coming from somebody i have known and saw a a friend and somebody I trusted and did potentially see us getting our act together and trying to have a real relationship one day.
I have had 2 abortions previously both of which i wish i could have kept. But now I find myself in the same situation feeling like how do I keep ending up here.
I do want a baby the thought of it has always made my heart smile and I know I will make a fantastic mother alone or not. But its just never the life I wanted for me or my child. But i know to be a mother is something i must do in my life and I am now 35 so will I have more chances??? i really dont know what to do. I work for the nhs so i know i can fit a baby into my life as nhs is very supportive of parents. I have my mum and dad brother and sister and friend that will all support me. But i come.from a good family where everyone has a partner and when they do have kids it won’t be as a abandoned single 35 year old mum 🙁
i do have to say I feel embarssed and ashamed that i will have a non existent father that i can not really avoid his existance because he is local to me. I feel embarrassed to even admit I was sleeping with him. If he lived in another area this would defo make it easier to ignore that he rejected not only me (that i could handle) But my beautiful innocent child. I dont really know what im looking from from this post. But i guess i just need to talk it out.
I would like to know what challenges i might be facing and how it will affect my child. Have any of you felt embarrassed and ashamed and if so has that shame gone or is it still there?
thank you 🙂11 November 2018 at 5:50 pm #17739
Abandoned single 37 year old mum here! I read your message with a lot of empathy. I am mum to two boys, aged 8 and 3 (different fathers) and baby on the way (offspring of second father but we’re not together)
I wanted to see if I could allay your fears about shame and embarrassment as you’re on your own. It sounds like you really want to be a mother and time is ticking and these should really not be reasons to not go ahead with the pregnancy.
I have felt nothing but pride since my eldest was born. He’s never had a father in his life. He’s a happy, confident, bright child who is doing very well at school and has lots of friends. The minute you become a mum, none of how the child was conceived matters. Families come in all shapes and sizes, some with one parent, some two, some siblings, some grandparents, some none at all. It doesn’t matter. It’s the love in the family that counts. Mine not having relationships with their fathers is no problem. They have other people. They are very secure in themselves and have never suffered the grief that comes with a family breaking down. They don’t question it so I don’t. When you’re a mum it’s like a club and we’re all in it together. There’s no comparing partners or non partners.
if you want this baby, go for it!
and PS I come from a “good” family too….married parents, university education, professional career and friends etc My parents are the proudest grandparents ever!