My baby is due next month, and so far the baby’s dad has made contact with me three times. He has not asked for any scan pictures, and only asked about when baby is due and the sex about a month ago because I brought it up. He also forgets what sex the baby is and has asked me a few times.
I’ve tried to see how involved he would like to be in baby’s life, and this has taken many attempts. He says he is in this, but then in the next sentence asks again why I didn’t have an abortion. I feel like I am going around the houses with him every time i try and talk/make a plan for when baby is here.
He also says he will ring me at a certain time but never does, so I Suggested we just speak through messenger. He is commonly like this, in fact he even said he was single, when he actually was seeing someone.
He has also not contributed or helped out in anyway towards any baby items or things.
i have no idea what to do to make this work or any better. And the due date is getting near. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I was in a very similar situation. It is hard, really hard.
I was in a situation where I did not want anything to do with my baby’s father, how are you feeling towards yours?
Despite my hatred towards him I was adamant that I would never do anything to prevent him seeing my child. In fact I would have liked for my child to have a relationship with his father.
So I, with support from some counselling I had during pregnancy, decided to alert him to any developments, milestones etc in the pregnancy, which I did via text, and leave him to make his own decisions over if he was going to attend appointments etc (he didn’t). But I will always be able to tell my child that I did everything I could to allow his father the opportunity to be involved.
Once I had made a decision and kept to it, a felt a weight off my shoulders. It still hurts that he didn’t communicate with me, or respond to my texts. He turned up 3 days after our son was born, and never came back.
once we were home (my son and I were in hospital for 3 weeks due to complications) his dad saw him 9 times in the first year. Always last minute and when he wanted, plenty of no shows. And that was it. Nothing ever since.
I rang him once at work after tracking him down after he left town. I asked him what relationship he wanted with our child and if he wanted to see him. His response was that he needed to think about it. That was the last time I ever heard from him.
I’m not saying your situation will end up the same, I’m saying that sadly you cannot control what happens here, only your baby’s father can decide what he wants to do.
once you reach the decision on if you cut him off completely or simply text updates with no expectation of any response, you will feel better. You can do this
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