PleaseHELP X took my son out of school moved address seized overnight contact
27 July 2019 at 11:00 am #28363
<span style=”font-family: Helvetica, Arial, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #f5f5f5;”>Hallo, </span>
<span style=”font-family: Helvetica, Arial, ‘Lucida Grande’, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: #f5f5f5;”>divorce happened several years ago, I settled and as soon as proceeds from matrimonial home reached X’s account, my ex wife moved away to unknown location, took my son 10 out of school half way to school year and does not permit me overnight contact with my son. I had no contact up until last weekend those 4 months were excruciating. Now that court papers have reached her and she had phone interview with CAFCASS she brings him to my door, but with the same breath she is making allegation that I do not have where to live and this is her excuse not to allow overnight. I believe my 10yr old leaked to her that I have started dating and I take him to my girlfriends, whose address I do not want X to know. Surely father who has parental responsibility (child born in a marriage and my name on birth cert) can take him on sleepovers any place they go? How do I stop my ex from prying and tantrum of knowing my stepps when I have contact with my son? The first hearing in Family Court is scheduled for 10th of september. I work LOOONG hours doing shifts in fire rescue service and missing my son. After every other hope of a family was stolen from me his absence is overbearing. Emotions already backfiring on my short as it is sleep time and working performance. I just want time with my boy! </span>27 July 2019 at 6:19 pm #28380
That must be incredibly hard. Of course any parent wants time with their child.
i’m sure Gingerbread advisor will be along in a while with advice, but in the meantime I think a parent has to have a safe place to host kids overnight. There are issues with HMOs and sometimes with introducing a new partner too soon, which can be difficult or confusing for the child. Would your parents be able to act as host in the short term to ease things along?
Your son didn’t “leak” information, he probably just had a normal conversation with his mum, you can’t expect a child to keep secrets.
Hopefully the court will agree regular court ordered access and things will settle down into an open routine. Good luck.27 July 2019 at 8:12 pm #28388
Thank you, Kathymu,
My parents along with my 4 brothers and their families are in Bolton. They also crave contact with my boy, but it is 4 hours + drive from London. Since I am not given an overnight contact I can not take him there. The last time he seen my parents and my brothers family was in January. We all went to Polesden Lacey and I invited my girlfriend to come along. She came with her daughter to whom my both boys (I have a 20yr old who is at Uni) warmed up right away. I do not believe it was inappropriate introduction in any way (or too soon), because my 10 yr. old would not let go of girlfriends and his daughters hand most of the day.
My problem is that my 10 yr old don’t even remember mentioning anything to his mom, yet she managed to milk him for the information. Now she knows both of their names and demands for more money.My 2o yr old reported that X has 2 boyfriends at this moment and time, name of one of them is the guy she left me for. I do not ask her how things are going in department of her dating, but she is demanding yet more money since settlement and using term “illegal” that I took my sons to my girlfriend’s house. I have no intention of make introduction (my X with my new found girlfriend) as my relationship is at the very beginning and X is skilled manipulator and habitual liar. It is worth mentioning, that 10 yr old is not being looked after anyone else, but me and often in a company of his 20yr old in addition even if we are travelling to see my girlfriend. What grieves me that, X is quite shamlesly treating my son as a pawn. All of her emails manifest one message only “pay or I will take him away”, which is not having sons best interests at heart. I miss him sooo. In 4 months I have not seen him he has grown. Even his voice is more mature. He is missing out on contact with my parents, my brothers, their children…27 July 2019 at 8:52 pm #28394
It sounds like the court needs to put some ground rules in place as soon as possible. Once the finances and access are fixed, hopefully things will settle down.