Please help. Newly seperated, I have so many questions

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  • #26909 Report


    Hi, I found my husband had been messaging other women again and made the decision, enough is enough. We’ve been married 7 years and have 6 year old twins. The problem is my name is not on the mortgage. He bought this house from his parents a few years before we met. I have been looking for somewhere else for me and the kids, but my main worry at the moment is, how do i tell the kids we are splitting up and moving all at the same time? It’s going to be bad enough telling them their family is changing forever, without the added upheaval of moving. I feel like we’re going to rip their entire world apart. We are both living in the same house right now while I look for somewhere.


    Which brings me to my next worry. He can’t afford to pay the mortgage on this place and rent for himself, his bills and maintenance. I won’t be able to afford the bills and day to day expenditure if he uses the maintenance to pay the mortgage, as I have no income at all. I claim no benefits and don’t work. So the only way i can afford to live is by private renting and claiming Universal Credits, while looking for a part time job. I’m just worried, if we leave and we are struggling. I have burnt my bridges by leaving this house and we’re on our own. Also, if i find a house ( I am viewing one tomorrow), and i decide to go for it, what if universal credits refuse my claim? Would they do that?


    I’m all over the place here and have no idea what to do


    Thank you for reading x

    #26948 Report



    Though my situation is different it’s similar in that I left my ex, he bought me out of the house and I found elsewhere for me and my daughter.

    you should be able to claim universal credit and also housing benefit whilst you are unemployed. If you speak to to housing they should be able To bump you up the priority list, or if you want private housing rental then obviously you would have To come up with deposit etc.

    the only thing I would suggest is..don’t let financial uncertainty keep you in an unhappy situation. There is support out there. I had to live with my folks for a while as I got back in my feet…best thing I ever did. And you can talk about the move as an adventure..which it is!!!

    look forward to your freedom and being out of  an unhappy relationship. It feels good 🙂

    #26973 Report

    Ruby – moderator


    You can ring the Gingerbread helpline for more information on 0808 802 0925.

    Also there are some organisations which offer free legal advice.  Here’s a link to the Gingerbread information on getting legal advice.

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