Please help

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  • #32638 Report


    Hi please can I get some advice. I’m a single mum to 4 kids, I recently split up with my ex we was married but not living together we have a 1 year old together.

    We have been in an unhappy relationship for most of this year due to him playing excessively playing computer games…he says he was stressed with work, I tried to support him but found it very frustrating like having a teenage boy not a partner and ended up with me threatening him to go…which he did. He wants to keep our son, his mum is a vile lady who has never supported our relationship and not liked me because I have different fathers for my kids she looks down on me like I’m not good enough for her precious son, and has sent me texts saying that she is gathering evidence on me so that our son can go and live with her and him as he has moved back there. I am finding this really distressing, I feel uneasy whenever he takes our son if he will bring him back. I got a job as he left us with rent arrears straight away but wont take time off work to look after our son so I cant work, and keeps telling me I’m getting benefits so he doesnt have to pay for childcare(even though its capped at two)..then says if it’s too stressful then I should give my son too him, and he will look after him full time. I cant imagine mine and my daughters lifes without my little boy in it, and I’m terrified they are plotting an evil plan to get him off me, because he wants me to fail so bad and give him too him he says it at every opportunity and makes out to everyone that I’m some crazy cow because i do end up sending him nasty texts. I’m giving him ammunition but I cant help it hes so cold and callous and my emotions just get the best of me, he lived with me for 4 years which in that time I supported him and helped his business grow and now it’s doing well hes left us, without even saying goodbye to the kids or a word to them since, and just picks my son up like nothing has happened and if I say anything to him like I asked him for 20 pound to help pay for childcare whilst I did my unpaid training says no and then says just give me our son and then you can live your dream life…I dont know what to do…I dont have thousands like him to spend on solicitors and I dont want to stop my son seeing his dad but I feel like hes using my son to hurt me…..please help

    #32639 Report


    We was not married we was living together

    #32653 Report


    My name is Jo and I am one of the moderators on the Gingerbread Forum. I can hear that you are in a particularly difficult and distressing situation right now and I hope you find the forum a source of support.

    I would also suggest you call our Helpline on 0808 802 0925 as they will be able to advise you on the best way to approach this situation, and possible action you can take.

    very best wishes


    #32694 Report


    Thank you I will definitely ring tomorrow and see if they are able to guide me in the right direction.

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