I can imagine this is an additional worry for you, especially after what you must be going through emotionally to be having those thoughts. There may be a contact number here on GB website for more advice?
I have had suicidal thoughts before, and in talking about it I have discovered quite a few others have too. And this helps to alleviate my worry about ‘the thought’, that whilst of course serious that it’s more ‘normal’. I think if more people had the courage to talk about it we would be opening up further the discussion of mental health and what it means to us personally, as individuals living our own lives. I don’t have experience of self-harm, but again I thank you for sharing. We are here to help each other. If you need to talk do PM me.
I hope you find a little peace at some point these days. Do you like to be out in Nature? That helps me when my thoughts get too much.
Oo, to add- sometimes what feels awful (eg your situation with the possible referral) may be a blessing in disguise. There’s no need to fight, there may be help for you. And there is no shame in any of what you feel (although I imagine it feels like there is.) Remember- The crack is how the light gets in.
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