Please can I have some advice? X

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  • #34356 Report


    I’m new here but I just really need to advice.

    I am a young single parent to a five year old who has autism. I started working for the NHS when he was 6 month old. I adore my job but as he’s gotten older his behaviour has become more challenging. I have had to reduce my hours to 30 so I can try and maintain a healthy work/life balance. But over time I have become to really struggle. I left my old post due to a mental breakdown. I was so depressed I didn’t leave my house for five month. They were really supportive but I thought it was time to try and make life better and move to a post closer to home so I didn’t have to travel (I use public transport).

    My new job is aware of my circumstances, recently my child has had ill health so Iv had some time off and I completely understand that my home life shouldn’t effect my work life. Due to all the stress I’ve become run down and ill a few times also. I’m really struggling to cope. I adore my actual job but I hate the work place. Iv been offered no support, no one has even asked me if I am ok. I can feel myself slipping back into the dark hole I had to fight my way out of. It’s scary because I don’t think I am strong enough. Today I was on shift when his carer rang in and said he had a temperature and needed to go to the walk in drs. So I left work cause obviously he comes first and I feel like a bad mum anyway for palming him off so I can work ridiculous 12 hour shifts. Then my manager rang me and was very rude. I apologised and didn’t retaliate to the rudeness but she insulted me told me I was unreliable etc. (I mean I know I am). But she said I need to have a meeting so I just told her I’m handing in my notice. She said ok starting from today just put it in writing.

    I feel relieved in a way, but I’m worried because I have been given a conditional job offer for a 9-5 job but I’m concerned I may be given bad references because it’s clear I’m unliked.

    If they withdraw the job offer will I still be entitled to benefits seen as though I quit?

    sorry for the massive post. There’s more to it but I have moaned on long enough.

    thank you in advance for any replies xx


    #34358 Report



    Employees are not allowed to give a bad reference. In my workplace all reference requests go to HR who give dates of employment and job title.

    Does your workplace have an employee assistance program for advice or to let off steam?


    #34363 Report


    I think it’s possible to go to HR and have a chat with them yes.

    i think I am also going to go to works occupational health and tell them all my issues and try and cover my back. My doctor is aware of everything. I just feel let down because I work really hard and the only bad thing they have against me is my personal circumstances. It’s sad that they haven’t even offered any help what so ever like the shift pattern is ridiculous.  I’m really distressed at the moment. I’m so worried about what I’m going to do if I don’t get accepted for my new role. But regardless I can not stay in my current one as i am loosing the will to live constant doom looms over me.

    thank you for replying x

    #34368 Report


    Hi. I re read my post and meant employers not employees.

    Sounds like you have a good plan. I hope you get the support you need. I think it takes great courage acknowledging a situation is causing us harm and then taking action.

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