Play dates help advice please

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  • #52645 Report

    Sally1978
    Participant

    Hi everyone, new here and really looking for some honest advice.
    I’ve been divorced now 6 years, my daughter is nearly 10. I’m on friendly ISH terms with my ex but minimal contact with him to keep it that way!
    He’s a good dad, and always has been.
    PLAYDATES I’m so stressed with this, he’s constantly having the same two girls to his house and for sleepovers, and I’m totally out the loop with it all and it’s making me feel really awkward. I now have zero contact with these mums as hes “in there first” and everything goes through him. I feel totally pushed out by it all.
    He’s really pushing the friendships so much I feel it’s a bit odd. I still live in the village and he moved away but he’s constantly here now because of it and it’s all making me so uncomfortable and I don’t know how to deal with my feelings. It’s almost like he’s trying to make her time with him way better by doing it, but then he’s spending less time with her as a result. He can just sit on his phone and let them play.
    I need some really honest advice if you think I’m being a brat please tell me.

    #52661 Report

    Ishtar
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m sorry but I am a bit confused. If he moved away where do they playdates happen? Surely you both have your allocated time with your daughter and unfortunately what he does when it is his time is up to him so long as your daughter is safe?  What is the split of time? Does he do his share of her homework etc with her? Are these friends from school?

    If you wish to organise playdates then do so on your time with your daughter – either with these children or others.

    I know it is difficult to not feel worried your children will enjoy the time with the other parent more .

    Also speak to your daughter. My oldest are 10 year old twins and they have good friends from school they like to spend more time with , so I facilitate that taking their friends to the park / softplay/ sleepovers etc.

    X

     

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