People in person to help with separation etc

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  • #6881 Report



    I’m pretty new to this. I’m a single mum to a boy 3 months old. Me and my husband separated last may when I found he had been lying about contact with another female for the past 8 months and had cheated on me when I was 8 weeks pregnant. He’s with this girl now and she’s moving in.

    I’m just wondering if gingerbread have people in person I can talk to about my rights financially and access to my baby by the dad.

    We are going through a divorce and I’ve asked to involve a mediator for the finances.

    We don’t seem to be able to talk sensibly, he gets defensive and I get emotional. He wants to sell the house we jointly own. He thinks I’m punishing him by wanting to be with my family in the north east. I haven’t ever stopped him seeing his son but he says it’s not practical for him to travel.

    I’ve been diagnosed with depression and the gp has recommended I stay with family. I’m also having counselling. I really am trying. But I feel so guilty for even thinking that I want to move permanently.

    He sees his son maybe a total of 8 hours a week at the house we own. I let him dictate when and he usually only wants to stay a couple of hours coz he feels awkward in the house. He’s asked tonight when our son can start going to his house…..i feel sick at the thought of my baby having family time without me. He’s only 3 months.


    Sorry this ended up as a very long post!

    #6905 Report


    Holy shit he’s asked for over night stays! Do I have to agree to this when my baby is just 3 months?????

    #6920 Report


    Page, that seems unreasonable to have a 3 month old for overnight stays. You, as his mother, are within your rights to agree to contact or not. Do you have safety concerns?

    Also, is the father named on the birth certificate? Were you still married at the time of baby’s birth?

    I understand about depression and wanting to be near family. Don’t feel guilty. You are the primary carer for your son and you need to be happy and well supported in order to be the best mum you can be.

    Feel free to message me if you’d like, we are in similar situations. X

    #6923 Report


    Hi Pagem11

    Thanks for sharing your story on the forum, it sounds like a really difficult time you’re going through.

    The Gingerbread helpline can talk to you about your rights financially and about agreeing access to your child with their other parent. The number is 0808 802 0925 – calls are free and confidential.

    We hope that others can help by sharing their experiences with you too.


    #6929 Report


    Thank you for your kind responses.

    I did try the line earlier but it was a 20min wait and my baby was waking up. I have spoken to the light charity in Sheffield in the meantime and will try gingerbread another time. X

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