Partners behaviour with child

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    I would like some advice about my partner’s behaviour with my daughter. We have been together on and off for a couple of years now, and I have a 6 year old daughter with another man. My partner has always shown a lot of interest in her, and made lots of effort which I do appreciate, however when does it start to become a concern? For instance, I teach my daughter a lot about body autonomy and her right to say no to anyone who wants to touch her in any way. We made it a rule in the house that permission should always be sought before hugs etc.. anyway he regularly ‘forgets’ about this and just picks her up, hugs and kisses her whether she appears to want it or not. I reminded him about this yesterday and he’s made a big thing of it- he made her a card to say he is sorry and that he loves her. I don’t know why but my gut feels weird about this- maybe he’s just being nice? He seems to really want to be her friend, buys her lots of little gifts and is always offering to look after her if needed (I’ve only let this happen once). Is he just being helpful? Also I noticed that last week when we were supposed to be picking her up from my mums, but then the plan changed last minute and her dad went instead, I came down to see him looking really upset about it, saying he felt really sad that he wasn’t going to see her- his reaction seemed so over the top to me. Other than a few unsure  moments and ‘gut’ feelings  there’s been nothing else and he is a great partner- very kind and considerate . I don’t know if I am overthinking things or whether others would feel the same. Hence why I thought I would put it out there and see what you thought.

    Thankyou for any help/ advice

    #42297 Report

    Hi there

    Thank you for posting your concerns on the forum.  I will be sending you a private message so please look out for it.  In the meantime if any parent has concerns regarding their children the NSPCC are a great place to give advice and information.  Here is the link to their website.

    Hope that helps, Justine

    #42300 Report


    Hi I had a gut feeling about my 14 year old daughter and her stepdad the realtionship didn’t feel right and I found out he had been giving her cigarettes and alcohol behind my back and told her to keep it a secret. I ended the realtionship when I found this out as i couldn’t trust him around my daughter she has said nothing else has happened he said he only did to be the cool stepdad but my gut feeling was telling me there was more to it than that and I didn’t feel comfortable with him around my daughter. It’s an awful feeling but your gut feeling is usually pretty spot on.

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