Partner left without explanation

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  • #60640 Report

    Klaudi3
    Participant

    About a month ago, I received a text that he is not coming as he was drinking and couldn’t get back home as he was in different city and when he will be able to drive he will come home. Then 48hrs past he didn’t get back to me no phone call text nothing so his mum got worried and tried to look for him. The friend that he was supposed to be with was home. And didn’t explain anything what is going on.
    then about the first week he showed up we argued about what is going on etc. He immediately left again didnt say anything. Then I am on fb he post picture with some other girl thats all. Then he denied he is cheating and other stuffs. Then he said he is not coming back and that he will send one of his friend to my house to collect his belongings. So i gave everything to his friend. During all this time we had few arguments over the phone nut much because he blocked me. Didn’t explain anything. Like I would expect at least he found someone else he wants to leave and we will discussing how it will be with our 2 small children’s but he never mentioned our kids. When I asked him if he will ever go see his kids he just replied he will see them when he wants to. Thats all. Then suddenly he says he ended with her and that he wants to come back he spend home like 2 nights only but didn’t bring his belongings or didn’t really explain anything much to me. On 3rd day of like coming back I wanted to speak with him that we won’t rush anything and that I need time and it would be best if he stays at his mum house and show that he is interested in our children’s and me. But on the 3rd day he ghosted me again didn’t pick up his phone, didn’t text me call nothing didn’t even left messages to someone to pass it on to me. Then I hear from his mum that he left the country with her.
    i don’t get why he would behave like this in this situation why he didn’t say we won’t work I don’t love you anymore and want to be with someone else and also didn’t again say goodbye to his kids. Not if he ever wants to see them. Right now I know I will never get the closure from him, but I had to close it myself I will never contact him never let him see his children. I might let him if he really show interest in children and I said not him but his mum as he is not in same country as me anymore if he will want to be in contact with his children in future to go through court. I believe from the way he behaved this past year that he became narcissistic. I don’t know what else is going on in his head as I heard he is probably involved with drugs too. The only reason I let him see his children in this month when it all started because children were crying everyday for him and waiting. I won’t allow some selfish person ruin my children. As it is very obvious he never wanted to get in touch with children he was just checking on me who I am with or what I am doing. I very much hope I will never have to see him and that he will stay out of country forever. Lots of things happened bad things from his side he even manipulated me to make me believe that it was all my fault which i know now it wasn’t. And as I said even if it was I never said he can’t see his children. Until he did this again. Where his my lives is like 5 min drive so he could say goodbye to his children if he really wanted to. So there is no excuse what he did to me or our children. In this relationship For the past year I felt like single mum anyway but I wanted him to be on good terms with his kids as their father however he doesn’t want to. I don’t understand how can you say to someone you love them and next day just disappear from their lives without explanation nothing.

    #60721 Report

    JuneB
    Participant

    You and your children deserve so much better than this. Reach out to those who love and care and make sure you are all the best you can be. He obviously can’t be consistent and if he cared he would be thinking about how all this is impacting on you and the children but but by his behaviour he is only thinking of himself.  You can all get through this towards more better days. Take care

    #60725 Report

    GingerbreadHelen
    Keymaster

    Hi Klaudi3,  I think you will find these pages on the Gingerbread website helpful at this time.  Separating – Gingerbread

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