Parents of ASD kids
22 March 2020 at 11:26 am #38146
Thank you for posting about this. I have a girl who is 4 and we are pretty certain she has autism and adhd. I never believed (through utter ignorance) adhd to be a “real” disability but now I have a child with behavioural issues, I am absolutely certain of the condition and how hard brining up an autistic child is.
As my daughter (as many girls) is masking at nursery the serious meltdowns she has and saving them for home, I haven’t been able to get a diagnosis. I genuinely believe is someone came to the supermarket with me, they’d no doubt see her for behaviour for what it is.
I have zero contact from the father since she was 6 months old. Sad but his loss.
she has amazing language and incredibly smart but the sleep, eating, activity, behaviour, sensory issues and unpredictable impulses are so hard to endure sometimes. The fact I never get a solid conversation with her and I cannot for the life of me get her to stop grabbing my chest all night if I want any sleep whatsoever so I deal with broken sleep.
my mum had the same bias and thought I was soft on her until I moved in with her when daughter was 2. Then she immediately became my advocate and saw that it was not just “me being soft”. She realised (as a retired teacher) how little teachers in education really know autism especially in girls. I’ve seen two doctors one dismissive the other listened but passed me on to getting health visitor. Contacted hv who tried to get someone to see us and haven’t seen them.
a friend of mine with autism and adhd suspected both me and her have autism. Starting with her constant spinning and behavioural issues. Mine well more complex as an adult.
My main problem is that without a confirmation from a doctor or anyone really, I feel like I’m being an idiot and find it hard to accept this is how the rest of our lives will be. She’s so vibrant and incredible but that doesn’t make it easy. I struggle with the loneliness of not being able to talk to anyone and really connect. My mum is amazing but it’s not like having a partner or good friend to chat to.
I can’t express how hard it is in words but anyone as a single parent with ASD children are absolute superheroes.
I work (half of what I used to do before child) 32 hours a week as a civil engineer, I’ve studied part time before and after having her in my life, I’ve had my own business, I’ve managed huge teams and projects; nothing comes even close to how hard it is being her mum. And I’m very present and attentive but so hard on myself as a parent. It’s hard not to be.
I have to keep pushing for a diagnosis for her school, so she has someone to advocate when she needs a break (she does not ever stop or look after her own body even when it makes her sick at nursery). If not I’ll have to go private to get the confirmation not just for me but for her education and emotional well being.
You are not alone. Sometimes we need to just meet others in the same position too.