1 May 2021 at 2:06 am #53597
Hi, at the start of lockdown my son went to stay with his Dad and has been alienated against me. I have been to court and the outcome was that he moved to his Dad’s house and had regular contact with me due the amount of anger that my 15 year old was showing towards me as a result of parental alienation. As part of the court order his dad is to positively encourage my relationship with my son and have regular contact with me. However, the contact arrangements are not being achieved as I am suppose to see my son every other weekend Friday evening until Sunday evening – however, my son comes over on a Friday, and wishes to go home that evening, so refuses to stay the night. How do I rebuild my relationship with my son and manage to spend more time with him? Should I go back to court as the order is not being fully complied with – or will this make things worst. We have tried family therapy, but this did not work as my son would not participate without his Dad there, who walked out of the last session and refused to complete any more sessions.1 May 2021 at 7:55 pm #53603
I really do feel for you. I have both my children who are older live with me. They see their mum every other weekend exactly on the days you specific. She constantly belittles me and tries to obtain information out of my son. My daughter does not see her mum very much at all. I personally have always encouraged contact and the key is never to be negative about their mother (or father)even if you are going through hell. My son only wants to see mum a maximum of two days a week but he has autism and it’s more down to him not wanting change than anything else. They will figure it out in the end especially if in your case the dad is always bad mouthing you. However please please always stay in contact with your children because parental alienation is real and with my precious daughter I do not see her and have not seen her since she was 8 years old. It was my fault. I had a new girlfriend who ended up my wife for 17 years but I let emotions and anger towards what the mum was doing take over and I decided it was in my daughters best interests if I didn’t see her to avoid the arguments. But the consequence of that is I have not seen my daughter and despite me writing multiple times she does not want to know. She speaks to my son and daughter who love with me now but she refuses to speak to me. The damage was done years ago so I implore you to never ever give up. And fight forever. X1 May 2021 at 9:07 pm #53606
it would be a bad idea to return to court. I don’t think teenagers will want to follow a court order strictly. If he was totally alienated against you then I don’t think he will turn up on a friday. Court’s won’t be able to do anything, as children that age can make their own decisions about how much time to spend with each parent. If you know his hobbies and interests, then I suggest you can try get involved with him that way, and see if things improve.3 May 2021 at 4:31 pm #53650
As son 15 and he is deciding to not stay more than 1 night there is very little a court could do. Have you tried asking son or dad maybe have 1 night every weekend or 1 night every other weekend and 1 day midweek perhaps.