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    I have a 3 year old and 2 older children. Her father was verbally and emotionally abusive towards me. The relationship ended shortly after she was born because of the behaviour. This has caused anxiety and panic attacks.

    I have a full time job which I struggle to do emotionally and physically.

    After many complaints and no shows he agreed to look after her 2 days a week. Until recently I wasn’t there when he dropped her home and asked him to leave her with my eldest. He drove away and was shouting and swearing down the phone. Forced me to drive miles away to collect her, where he shouted at me for not being home and making her sad. He has said he won’t be in our lives. And that I messed him around.

    I worry for her emotionally in the future. If he is out of her life and if he comes back in this unreliable troublesome way.

    With covid and uncertain times finding a nursery full time is another worry and financial strain

    #48338 Report



    if he’s going to be nasty, maybe you could get someone else to communicate with him about seeing kids?

    #48339 Report


    Hi good evening,

    Why would you leave your child with someone who ‘swears and shouts down the phone’ at you,inconveniences you,insults you,let’s your child down and says he will not be there for you?

    Unless he was just angry about something regarding the dropping off (maybe your eldest was not in or he did not consider that person old enough to look after your child),he doesn’t sound like a safe person to leave your child with,financial issues or not!

    Is she happy with him? Also you mention your full time job is a struggle emotionally and physically…is there any way you could be furloughed at all? I don’t know the legalities involved,but your situation sounds complicated for one person to bear alone.

    #48409 Report

    Hi J2021

    I’m Michelle, one of the moderators here in the forum.  I can hear that this is a difficult situation, and I’m glad that you’re here posing in the forum.  I’ve left you a message with some signposts that might help a bit.

    Take care


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