Overwhelmed

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  • #32954 Report

    Sjp84
    Participant

    I’m a new single parent.   I split with my ex in May and we were co-parenting really well.  We elected to live next door to each other and my children (7&5) were getting on brilliantly.   We were like best friends so we still spent a lot of time together as a family.  We just didn’t love each other as a couple any more.

    Then at the start of October I got a phone call from the Police.   My ex was in custody and since then he has been in remand for a non-contact sexual offence involving children and we are expecting a lengthy prison term.

    I’m now the sole parent to my children and expect to be so forever.

    This is just horrendous…  I have never parented alone before.  Everything is just HARD.   I’m beyond tired, the kids are struggling.  I’m struggling.

    I have no family here (live on and Island).  I have a best friend who is supportive but at the end of the day it’s me and me alone for 99% of the time.

    I cleaned and tidied today for the kids to come along behind me the whole time wrecking it all.

    I still have kids rooms to tidy tonight, dinner to do, washing to put away, bathrooms to clean, my room to sort.  Kids are bickering.

    Weekdays are rubbish.  Constant grind.  Rushing from place to place.  No relenting.

    I have reduced my working hours so that I can have Fridays off but spend that all in appointments and meetings with mental health (for me) and social services “support” (which basically just seems to be them coming and telling you that you’re doing a good job…. so why they need to come weekly I have no idea but I daren’t ask them not to in case it is seen as not engaging).

    I’m just sick of it and find myself wishing away the next 15 years to be honest.

    #32959 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    I’m living with my son over two years and his mother isn’t here to help me for parenting.

    I completely understand what you have had it till now.

    Someone told me a good thing:

    You have to live with your son till 15 years later , so just prepare yourself for 15 years.

    I’m struggling and I could be better and better every day.

    Be positive

    And bring happiness for your lovely kid

     

    #33021 Report

    Kath
    Participant

    My goodness you do have a lot on at the moment. You and your children have been landed with a situation that you had no control over. The good news is that this will not last forever even tho it may feel like like it will at the mo.

    You have had your support whipped away from under your feet and the children have had their dad removed from their lives. Your feeling it and so are the children. The children will react and if that means they are going to play up for you because they don’t know what else to do, they don’t know what’s happened to dad and they will be missing him too, he’s just vanished and it’s confusing for them, deal with each thing as it happens. But I wouldn’t worry too much about having a super tidy home if it means you are running yourself ragged. When the children are giving you the run around try some distraction techniques such as getting out some paper and pens and start drawing; they will want to join in esp if there is a couple of biscuits on the table for people who calm down and draw. Maybe they could draw a picture for their dad, you could pop it in the post for him.

    Would there be the option for you to take some time off work to catch your breath?

     

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