Other parent leaving child with new partner whilst at work

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 3 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #34873 Report

    Taitty123
    Participant

    Hi i was wondering if anyone can help I split from my partner 9 months ago he was cheating on me for 2 years. He instantly moved into her home and demanded my daughter stay over there.   Reluctantly I allowed as hes hard work and I get totall hell from him otherwise.  We had an agreement where if he cant watch our girl due to work I would have her until he finishes. But he broke that agreement last week and did not bring her home. He didnt text or anything.  I dont even know where he lives I know the Rea but have no address as he wont give me it.   He left his daughter with the girl he is with to watch her whilst he worked.   What info do I leaglly need to know can I demand their address and to know who my daughter will be with if he doesnt have her and a contact no for that person?

     

     

    #34879 Report

    Kath
    Participant

    Sorry it isn’t good news but you don’t have the right to have his address in the same way he wouldn’t have the right to your address if he didn’t know it.

    He, as dad, has the right to leave his child with whoever he trusts just the same as you and I do without having to clear it with the ex first.

    What you could do to ease you mind would be to meet this other person with your child there and see how she is, see how she interacts with your child, see if your child is comfortable around her. She nor your ex have to agree to this tho so you would need to approach the subject of meeting up with her in a calm and reasonable manner. If this can be done you just might feel better about the whole thing?

    #34882 Report

    Taitty123
    Participant

    Thank you for all your advice,   this man is a total narcissist the way he treats me is like I had done him wrong. I’ve given him a lot of leeway with regards to timing because he also has a son from a previous marriage who I’m now not allowed to speak to after helping to bring him up for 7 years.   Our days we set out are Thursday Friday and sunday nights. He doesnt really have set times as I allow him to work around his son but recently it’s now whenever he decides he wants to turn up.   Last weekend he was to pick her up at 12 my girl is only 5 she stood up at the window on a stool for an hour he eventually turned up at 130 claiming it was his sons fault for not getting dressed.  I know the area he lives and it’s only 5 mins from my house. Christmas day he got her at 4pm to bring her home at 8 he rocks up at 1030 walked her down in the cold because they had been drinking. Weekend before she has dance class at 1225 every sunday. He was to bring her to me at 1130 12 came I called and called he wouldnt answer he turned up at 1220 with her in her Pjs blamed her for not getting her shoes on. Told me to take her to the sports centre in her Pjs get her dressed in her ballet stuff and take her into the class half way through. He likes to shout at me he has no respect for me whatsoever. I calmly said I am not putting her into a situation where she has to be seen in a public place in her Pjs get changed and go into a class half way though. She wouldnt like that nor am.i going to embarras myself to do this. He pays nothing towards my daughter, he buys the occasional cheap jogging suit from tesco or primark. She has clothing at his which she says shes not allowed to wear home.which o find rediculour because I send everything she needs for her stay with her.   Theres no way on earth he will allow his very young bisexual gf meet with me, I dont think shes fully aware that we were still together even though he was living at my home. The problem is I do not know her.  I’ve seen her I know what she looks like. I know from his sons mother that they fight constantly when he is there  fortunately they have only had one fight when my daughter was there.  He is very controlling and manipulative, he still trying to control parts of my life including how I treat my own adult son (another long story)  I’ve had to just put up and shut up. And its destroying my soul.  Even though my home is much more calm and happy even my sons dad had mentioned it. Everyone I know have commented on how much more happier i appear. But theres these instances where he just suck the life out of me.

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