Opinions on if I am doing the right thing…

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  • #15442 Report


    I am currently 18 weeks pregnant with my first child.  I have been with my partner for 2 and a half years but we are constantly and aggressively arguing.

    To cut a long story short I feel I can’t rely on him, his temper is atrocious and the way he shouts at his son and our dog makes me worried about raising our child in the same house.

    Am I doing the right thing telling him I want to separate or should I see how things are when our baby is born? I’m not scared to raise our baby on my own, but is it fair??

    I have been going over this in my head for weeks and have been to the doctors for advice as our constant troubles are affecting my depression (that I felt I had overcome previously).

    #15454 Report


    That’s a choice for you to make but it sounds worrying to me – can’t imagine bringing up a child in that environment. Mind you, you did choose to have a baby with him in the first place – he’ll forever be the Daddy and will want access, so you’ll never get away from that.

    #15465 Report


    Hi Empty,

    Yes I have thought about it from that angle but it’s only since becoming pregnant that he’s started to become this aggravated and aggressive.  He’s always had a short fuse but I guess it’s only now it’s not me that I need to think about that I’ve noticed how bad he gets.  He threatened to take my name off our holiday to my sister’s wedding last month, his drinking has increased (he said stag dos and holidays made it acceptable and unavoidable – but every time he gets angry, or passes out, or does something stupid or irresponsible) and he’s only now starting to shout at his boy and having rows with the mother and our dog is a new addition who arrived the same time I found out I was pregnant.

    However, if I leave now he will have no choice but to go to his mum and dad’s to stay and I know they wouldn’t put up with how bad he is and his temper with his boy.

    #15466 Report


    Hi Solomum,

    This is exactly what I am thinking.  I have a good 5 months to get a solid and stable environment for my baby whereas if it doesn’t improve and I stay until birth, things will seem impossible what with having a baby to take care of and sort out a new living space plus the emotional guilt.

    Thank you both for replying.

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