One year on, will it ever get better?!

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #56661 Report

    Brokenman
    Participant

    Hello. I did post on here a while back but I’m back! So last July (the 31st, 2020!) My wife walked out on me. We have two young daughters and she took them with her and moved into her mum’s home. She was stopping me from seeing the children so I took her to court and last month was finally given just about 50/50 access (I have them three weekends in every four, starting from Friday night till Sunday night and every Wednesday night). After a couple of weeks of leaving me, she met a new guy and within a month the two of them and the children had moved into their own place. He’s always been nasty to me, threatening me with violence and refusing to talk to me about the children etc. The trouble is, even though I’m “over” her and would t ever take her back, I’m still so jealous of what they have. When I was with her, I spent the last two years sleeping on the sofa, we never kissed, cuddled and hadn’t had sex since early 2018, around the time out youngest was conceived! But I keep thinking of the two of them being close, being intimate and just having their lives together, along with the girls. I can’t see myself ever having that kind of feeling again with anyone, after all, who will ever want a 29/30 year old single dad of two, who’s shy, nervous and very insecure?! Every time I hear a love song, see a love scene on TV or even see friends getting in new relationships, I think about my ex being in that position and am so jealous. I should be happy with her, we married for a reason, but now I feel life will never get better for me and I’ll forever be lonely and fed up! How can I ever get over this? As I said, I don’t want her back, but I want what she has!

    #56664 Report

    L
    Participant

    Hi

    So sorry to hear of your tough year. I’m pleased you have 50/50 access now of your girls.

    I’m going through difficult times myself. This group is really good for talking so we are here to help. Where in the country are u?

    Keep on being a good dad👍

    #56665 Report

    Brokenman
    Participant

    Thank you for your reply and kind words, I’m from Norwich, Norfolk

    #56666 Report

    L
    Participant

    Dont let this situation bring you down. Enjoy the time you get to spend with your girls as that’s the most important thing especially whilst they are still so young.

    I’m lucky I have my children living with me. Their poor excuse of a father now wants to live with the woman he had an affair with and wants his children to meet her!! Not a chance as the circumstances surrounding all of this have been v upsetting for my children and I.

    Stay strong and keep being that great dad👍👍

    #56670 Report

    Brokenman
    Participant

    Thank you “L” for your reply. The trouble is, is that the lower I feel, the more lonely I feel and the more I worry about my future, it’ll make it harder for me to pick myself up for the girls as I’m getting more and more into a depressed state. I just see my ex happy, deeply in love, and how that happiness is spreading to the girls, and I just wish I could be in that same position!

    #56671 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    Hi,

    Your still young and have a future ahead of you. I’m 37 and hopefully will be married by end of the year.

    I think you need to stop thinking of your ex somehow and what life she has. Focus on rebuilding your life and hopefully you can start a new life with a new partner. Sadly there is lot of irrational behavior out there. Parents being blocked from seeing kids just because they moved on and have a new partner lol.

    #56716 Report

    L
    Participant

    Hi again!

    What things do your girls like to do? Do that like playing outdoors or going to the park. When you have your time with your girls plan interesting and fun things to do with them especially with weather being so good atm. And being outdoors will help your wellbeing too and keep your mind focused of more positive things.

    The one thing my children want when they see their dad is just time spent with them, not toys brought for them or expensive days out, just time with daddy building lego or playing football. Sadly he finds this difficult to do most the time😔 and they end up coming back all upset.

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