On holiday first time since separation

[3gingerboys]

Hi all

So I’ve taken my 3 boys on holiday for the first time since separating from my husband, they are 7, 12 and 15. Ex husband and I are still living together, he’s just been approved for a shared ownership new build and hopefully will be moving out in September, we’ve been living together separated since December 18, it’s been incredibly hard!

Much as I know it’s right to separate I am feeling so lonely away on my own and feel like I’m not the fun one, he was the one who chucked them about in the sea and did the fun stuff. I’m doing my best but the loneliness is hard!

Any tips or anyone else struggling at moment? X

[Sallenew]

I have no tips or advice but could t leave without commenting. I think you’re very brave and strong and definitely a fun mum for taking the kids away! I haven’t dared do this yet, not because it’s hard work but because of the emotions, worrying how I will feel comparing it to previous family holidays when husband was there too. Try not to be hard on yourself, the fact that you have faced this and taken your boys away to make memories and fun times say so much about you. It’s ok to feel vulnerable sometimes and there is little anyone can say to erase that feeling…but know that it will pass, try and enjoy making new memories and know that to your boys you are a superstar! Sending huge hugs, you are not alone x

[picklepie24]

I’ve been taking my 4 on my own for the last 5 years they are now 6, 8, 12 and 14 and it’s getting easier every year.  You do what you can and the kids can help you you don’t have to take the weight of it all on your shoulders, easy to say I know.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’ve gone away with them on your own for the first time and that’s a huge thing you should be proud of yourself.   I remember the first time i properly took mine away on a whim i booked a trip to centre parcs a three hour drive away from where we live, somewhere i had never been before.  I was having a breakdown about driving so far and how i would cope but I did it and we all did a happy dance when i eventually managed to get us there in one piece and we had a great time.

You can do this, have a good holiday x

[3gingerboys]

Thanks so much for your lovely responses. I have come to Weymouth, we’ve never been here as a family and needed to come somewhere with no history. It was a 4.5 hour drive and was a bit worried but we made it! We’re doing ok, having a nice time and boys are helping out. I do have moments where I think that they must be missing their Dad, buy they’re not showing it! It’s nice to be able to be the generous one and not have to be the strict one for a change! And my eldest son is not getting constantly criticised which would normally happen 😔 Sallenew give it a go, maybe a short trip somewhere new, it is good to make new memories. Have a great summer both 😊

[Ccg17]

Good on you and well done. Can’t I ask what have you told the children about you and your ex husband? Do they know he is moving out?

[3gingerboys]

Hi CCG17, the older two know but not said anything to the youngest yet as felt I needed to be able to give him some definite details about timescales and where his Dad would be living. He’s been reluctant to move out, but we’ve now agreed a consent order and he’s seen a couple of properties he likes. Still nothing definite but getting there! We’ve been living together separated since December 18, it’s been a long slog!

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