I have a cao. My ex is residential parent, I have spends time with. Alternate weekends, weekend 1 is Friday afternoon to Saturday 12pm. Weekend 2 is Friday afternoon to Sunday bedtime.
I have a holiday planned for my partners 40th next July. It means missing a Friday to Saturday contact. We havnt had a holiday in 3 years. And I have only changed my arranged time once in the last 12 as I had covid.
I spoke to a solicitor who said as NRP I don’t have to take up time available on CAO and 8-9 months notice was reasonable for non contact of 1 day.
told ex I had a holiday next year to be told what alternative arrangements have I made for child. Ex is always awkward. They gives extra days so they can go away. Eventually I said I had spoken to a solicitor who said if I have given notice I won’t be taking up visit time and she refuses to collect child from school. Social services and police would be called. Ex said that’s fine I won’t collect child let social services collect them and this will show your a poor parent.
ex won’t allow me to take child on holiday abroad.
am I being unreasonable going on holiday? I have made minimal changes to times I have child and value my time with them. But am I expected to do nothing till they are 18?
what notice would be acceptable to inform RP? Though I expect them to always say no
I’m booked to get married in Cyprus in 2023 and now I’m worried that she will refuse that time, so should I never get married?
it seems you have been reasonable by seeking legal advice about your position. you have given plenty of notice to your ex about your plans. taking child abroad on holiday is something I had covered in my CAO. if she knows your getting married, then can expect her to get jealous and try cause disruption to your life. I think you should not let her control your life. also those CAO’s do not force NRP to see children, they make RP make children available to NRP. I would suggest that you cover yourself, by either arranging a meeting with schools headteacher and give them a letter about your planned trip, and also inform children services. enjoy your life 🙂
I think your ex is being very unreasonable. For the Fri/Sat issue, I would ask for a swap. If she refuses, I would ask either a family member for help, or one of the parents in school for a sleep over.
For the trip abroad, you actually need either the residential parent’s consent to take kid abroad, or the consent of the court. So go ahead and ask her now, and keep proof of the communication. If she agrees, great! If she refuses, then the steps are (1) mediation, (2) take it to family court. And make sure you book the wedding for a day/week when the child is actually meant to be with you – just to avoid more problem with your unreasonable ex.
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