Not sure where to start feel lost and alone

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  • #57711 Report

    AJM1310
    Participant

    I was with my partner for 7 years we have recently split due to our relationship we planned to have a baby and was successful with being gifted a baby boy. Whilst we was trying to have a baby our relationship was great and prior to that also but it started to go downhill we was becoming two people who we didn’t like and was constantly arguing and not seeing eye to eye.

    we decided for the sake of George that we should end out relationship and co parent and live separate as we didn’t want to bring him into our dramas and for he’s happiness we decided that it would be best if we did split.

    I found it extremely hard at first and still am I used to think that it wouldn’t be that bad but I miss him terribly and feel I have failed as a father he is one year and one month and he idolises me and I think the world of him when I’m with him these feelings disappear but when I am alone it’s all i think about, I just want to make sure I can be the best dad to him but I feel due to the relationship between me and mum a lot was said and done and I feel that I messed up big time which is always eating away at me.

    I am very lucky as mum and I are in good terms and we are very much still a family we just don’t live together or in a relationship. There is no bad blood between us which does help but I feel I have no one to talk to about this as a lot of my friends are not dads and I just feel they wouldn’t understand

    If they’re are any parents around the South Woodford area who would be up for meeting and having a chat and sharing experiences I’d be more than happy to.

    it’s something that is on my mind all the time and I find it hard to picture what the future will be like without living with him and if I should of done anything different I know I can’t change what is done but I struggle day to day thinking that I am not good enough to be a dad and I feel lost almost not knowing what my life has come too. It’s the little things like putting him to bed or bedtime stories or teaching him how to kick a ball that gets me or missing hes first day at school as I don’t live with him it hurts so much knowing I won’t get to witness or experience these little milestones

    Apologies about length but any advice is much appreciated

     

    #57717 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    Are you local to him? Make sure you see him on the key occasions. I have 2 kids who I don’t see at the moment. Long story! Be grateful you have a good relationship with your ex. Sorry I’m not in S. Woodford. Why not plan activities etc for the next time you see your son? Then you look forward to it and are doing something positive while waiting. I haven’t seen mine since April this year.

    #57718 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    You’re really lucky as I am currently in the middle of a court-case nightmare trying to get contact.

    #57719 Report

    AJM1310
    Participant

    Yes atm I am local to him but they are moving as I have currently moved out. There only going a hour out and luckily my boss lives in the same village and she ( mum ) has said I can stay the night on the Tuesday when I see him and my boss will pick me up in the morning

    yeah I am planning more activities with him Sunday we are going to feed the ducks then something to eat. I think the initial thought is I never thought this would happen to me and it is hard to accept sometimes

    #57722 Report

    Andrew uk
    Participant

    Yes I agree. It happens to other people and not me. My sister divorced and her and her ex worked it all out and were grown-up about it all. There is total animosity towards her from my family sadly. Ducks are always good. (Seed not bread please!) And playground. Very hard to accept but enjoy the moments with him. My sister’s children get on better with their dad since they split than when they were together so sometimes it’s a blessing.

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