Not sure what to do… (ex threatening)

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  • #9382 Report


    I wrote about my son’s dad not seeing him for 8 weeks. Well 2 weeks ago, he decided to turn up on mothers day, I allowed him to see my son. He then turnt up again 3 days later and then another 3 days later. So that was a total of 3 visits in a week. Well he started a argument with me after the last visit because my daughter (not his) wasn’t well. He called me a rubbish mum, said he feared for my son’s wellbeing and basically tried to belittle me, which he would do when we were together (he was mentally and verbally abusive, even though he still denies this). He then proceeded to block me on every thing. Fast forward to yesterday, I get a random message saying it’s in my best interest to take my son to see him, that the long he doesn’t see his son, the longer i will have to wait to get him back and it will be worse for me. I told him if he wanted to see him he can but he is not to expect me to jump at his commands. He then told me I should watch my back and that I will have it coming, that a woman is after me because I’m stopping him from seeing his son. I told him not to make threats, he also said that he was going to blow up my ‘boyfriends’ bike, which happens to be a friend I have not spoken to in over 4 months.

    I’m unsure on what to do, I played it off as I wasn’t scared, but all night and today I have jumped at every noise, not left my house, I feel like he is trying to manipulate me all over again. I’m not sure if the threats are empty or not, I wouldn’t put it past him.

    #9384 Report


    You must absolutely go to the police with this. I mean, pick up the phone right now. It will also help you if the issue of access ever goes to court, which it might.

    Now, I’m not joking, phone the police right now and report this and show them the evidence.

    #9387 Report


    I agree with Empty. Your ex appears to be trying to intimidate/control you.

    Mine was the same and after 1 incident more than 2 years ago I still check the street every tine I go out and return home. I lock the door when I’m at home.

    The police were very kind. You need to be on their “radar”.

    If you have anything in writing from him displaying this behaviour keep it,

    Best wishes to you and please let us know how you get on.

    Please feel free to pm me if I can help.

    Jamie xx

    #9399 Report


    I agree and call the police, these people get off on intimating people, they are just bullies.  My sister went through a similar experience, her

    ex called her to ask where she was, then to prove it she had to switch the lights on and off in her bedroom, she ended up going to the police.  keep us informed, good luck. z

    #9402 Report


    He has now told me that If I go to police it will be worse for me and that apparently I will get into trouble with social services because I am a rubbish mum. I suffer with depression and anxiety, he is using every thing against me.

    I feel so stuck and alone. My family keep saying to just ignore him, but I can’t.

    #9404 Report


    Jaycee, this is bullying, threatening behaviour. You are not a bad mother. YOU MUST CALL THE POLICE, just like I said yesterday. PLEASE call the Police, and make sure this is recorded with them. Don’t contact him, don’t warn him, but PLEASE call the Police NOW. This will not get you into trouble. Not even remotely. Don’t believe that crap. PLEASE call the Police the minute you read my post and tell us you’ve done it. I can’t do it for you.

    Now will you PLEASE just do it and let us know.

    Thank you.

    #9407 Report


    Jaycee18, I’ve been in your situation and fast forward a few years when you’re in court trying to obtain any sort of order (to protect yourself or the kids), they’ll ask you why you didn’t log this with the police. All the things that happened, I know they happened, the ex knows they happened, I’m not making anything up but I wish I’d called 101 and just had a chat with them each time. That would have been my evidence that these things occurred. Something the courts need to see. I’d also suggest you keep a diary with times and dates, copies of any written threats. Though the diary is no substitute for having a chat with the police. I always worried what the consequence of calling the police would be, would it be worse, I could handle my situation so I didn’t feel calling them was necessary, but in hindsight I wish I had. They’re not going to bust through his door and arrest him, but they’ll make their own judgement as to whether they need to let him know they’re aware of the situation and to wind his neck in a little and stop this behaviour.

    #9408 Report


    Please listen to DMP – she is one of the top contributors and worth listening to.

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