Not coping well
9 June 2020 at 10:40 pm #40795
I’ve got 4 children aged between 15 and 4. Been separated a year. I feel like I’m losing it completely in terms of parenting. The lockdown has resulted in me being really lonely and down. Considering calling a doctor to get medication but holding off for now. I’m struggling to be motivated to do activities with the children which is unusual for me. I normally love doing stuff with them. But I’ve had to give up on homeschooling. Eldest refuses, and younger ones all at different ages etc just made it impossible. The guilt is unbelievable. recently I’ve found I’m less tolerant of their behaviour and I’m shouting a lot more. I swear in front of them sometimes, which I’ve never done before. I hate myself for it.
We live in a nice house, no huge problems etc but I’m just struggling to keep it all good.
their dad has them every other weekend and I can’t call him for help in between.
gods knows how I will manage until September.9 June 2020 at 11:00 pm #40798
Hello just read your post and sorry to hear you are struggling. You struck a chord with some of what you said as there are days I find harder than others. Moreso the last few weeks as the ex is bullying me over the kids and I have no one to turn to for a hug, apart from the kids of course.
I think it is normal to get impatient and not be the best parent ever in these difficult times. Home schooling is easy some days but hard near to impossible other days. I’m working from home too so it’s all a huge challenge!
My advice is get plenty of sleep, don’t drink too much alcohol and try to get half an hour a day for yourself, easier said than done I know!! Maybe a bath, or listening to some music with the headphones in.
keep going, we will all get through this together xx10 June 2020 at 7:26 am #40804
I hope you stay strong and talk to a doctor soon. Remember that you’re not alone and this pandemic aggravated the feeling of lowliness of many people. We can get through this somehow.10 June 2020 at 8:42 am #40807
Please don’t worry too much as what you’re experiencing is normal. And I have sworn at the children for the first time too. I’ve sacked home schooling unless they initiate. I’m taking all the pressure off for the three of us and lowering my expectations like being on a rainy caravan holiday – enough to just get through it! I hope you feel more settled soon.10 June 2020 at 9:31 am #40808
Hello , We all have days we feel isolated and alone , Small steps September is along way away when you have children but living for the moment is the only way through , try and encourage quiet time even if it’s on a device , or a film you sound exhausted and emotionally broken but it won’t always be like this , not having such a good time here , my estranged husband hasn’t only moved in with his gf and her three children having nothing to do with our two he keeps calling the police on me with false allegations, none of us are in control of the future but you sink or swim , are your children Happy ?? You already say they have a roof over their head this and food in their belly is your job your already providing this look at all you have achieved you can do this here of you want to talk x10 June 2020 at 12:08 pm #40809
Please don’t beat yourself up, so many parents have admitted to losing their patience with the kids lately , me included and yes I’ve sworn too for 1st time, a few times! I’m having to work from home and look after my son as a single parent and its impossible because looking after a child is a full time job in itself so how can they expect people to do this? I’m not coping either so you’re not alone, at the end of the day we can only do what we can do and we can’t be expected to be super-human. Also I think lots of ppl have given up on home-schooling from what I’ve heard!10 June 2020 at 1:45 pm #40819
I’m sorry you are feeling the pressure at this current time. I will be sending you a private message with some signposting options.
Kind regards, Justine16 June 2020 at 3:13 pm #41116
Don’t worry!! I’m the same so down and lonely myself!! Lockdown isn’t helping me either! I have 3 boys aged 7,4,2 so completely understand you!!! I have also stopped doing school work for a bit as I’m having the same trouble!! It’s a nightmare trying to run a house, clean, do kids meals, and stop them from fighting!! Never mind homeschooling on top!! If you ever have a good day maybe just do a small amount when you feel you can don’t put too much pressure on yourself the teachers will have to get everyone back up to scratch xxx16 June 2020 at 10:15 pm #41165
You’re not alone! It’s a intense time right now. Try and get as much ‘me’ as possible : )16 June 2020 at 10:44 pm #41170
I think we all pressurise ourselves thinking everyone has these perfect homeschooling set ups which is going fantastic …. couldn’t be further from the truth.
The more I speak to people the more I am hearing others saying they have given up!
Im taking the approach of trying to get in small quality sessions, even if it’s only 10-15mins at a time where my daughter is more likely to retain something, otherwise it just becomes a painful, pointless, tick box exercise!