Not coping

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  • #47089 Report

    Mike86
    Participant

    Hi,

    I never thought I’d be in this situation and I don’t know how to cope. I guess I’m just looking for words of comfort really.

    I found out the other night that my wife was having an affair. We’ve been together for 8 years and she only met this guy 2 weeks ago.

    Now she’s gone. Packed her bags and moved in with him, leaving myself and our 4 year old son in pieces. Memories are everywhere and I’m an absolute wreck. I don’t know how to cope and just want things to go back to normal – the 3 of us together, no affair, back to happiness. I know I need to be realistic and practical but I’m in pieces.

    Thank you for listening.

    #47090 Report

    sirtobi
    Participant

    hello Mike,

    been there and survived. First rule of thumb, don’t expect anything from yourself at this moment. You are a wreck and rightly so. So what you need is a garage. Parents, siblings, friends, whoever is available. Concentrate on the hours ahead. That is normal now for the near future. Pack everything in bags that are too hurtful to look at store them somewhere. Make yourself and your son’s life as comfortable as possible. Just keep going. Rome wasn’t build in one day. Changes need time, and you just need to take this time. Keep away from drugs and alcohol. With a child in tow that just isn’t an option.

    I have been there four years ago and I can tell you, it will pass. You will be up and running again.

    Stick to what you have and trust yourself.

    I know how bad it is and I am really sorry for you and your son.

    #47098 Report

    bkbk86
    Participant

    hey I’m really sorry you are going through this and you and your son deserve so much better. My ex husband cheated on me too and was back and fourth for 6 month before I finally came to my senses and walked away and I feel guilty that my daughters head was all over for a further 6 month I could have prevented. I found writing down all the bad memories and all the ways he made me feel low and bad about myself helped. Everytime i would slip into old good memories i would re read it and remind myself he wasnt that amazing person I’d tricked myself into believing he was. You have to have empathy for yourself and everything you have been through and remind yourself who caused it.

    #47700 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    Hi.That’s a lot of pain to manage,what makes things so much more difficult is seeing our kids hurt by the people/person they should be trusting the most.My ex chose his mother over me which really hurt as she’s a  very ugly old bird.I thought I was keeping everything going when it happened to me but I was running on autopilot and slightly unhinged.Took long time to get back to ground level.I couldn’t bear to get rid of things for years but now I have & it’s a relief.I think with hindsight I wld treat myself better,you’ve been thru a trauma,look after yourself. better yet if u can, get s1 else to do it!

    #48010 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    Hope you made it through the week.

    #48146 Report

    3trollsmom
    Participant

    Hey Mike

    Checking in to see how you are doing.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

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