Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Not allowed to speak to my son

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Liam94 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #19582 Report

    DadD
    Participant

    Hi,

    First time I’ve ever come on a forum and need some advice or if anyone is going through same kind of thing what help is there,

    My son’s mother has chosen apon herself to stop all contact and blocked me, I can’t get in contact with her to speak with my son and I’m going out my mind.

    Because of the distance I don’t get to see my son as much as I’d like. So the times I do is like him a bit longer as travel takes up some of our time together. Past few months have been difficult as we have been thrown messages back and forth at each other, she dictates alot I was due to have him for a few days after Christmas and asked to have him for a bit longer but I get shot down straight away with no explanation and like every normal person I question it as I’m in my right to see him and spend time with him at this time of year, she wanted to change dates which didn’t give me any longer but it was a day after new year. I did ask again for longer time and again I got shot down and this time she told me he will not be coming and she bloked me. She then arranged so my mum could have him he ended up coming but he was cery confused as to where he was staying and when he usually sees me he gives me a hug but it was very different this time, I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable and confused, will he be thinking I don’t care or will he be thinking that he is done something wrong?  I’m still unable to get in contact and don’t know what to do when family and friends talk to me about it it’s not processing what they are telling me just want my son to have both his parents in his live.

     

     

    #19599 Report

    MBMG
    Participant

    This seems very difficult. I’ve only been separated for a month and didn’t work out regular contact yet but hubby has seen my daughter every saturday and a few extra days during the holidays. I’m not saying I was completely ok with it as he hurt me and deep down I want him to suffer but I would hurt my child if I kept her away from her dad. It’s so sad and a shame that kids get caught up in the storm. I hope you can sort it out soon. You can seek mediation. They can help if I’m not wrong.

    #19604 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    You don’t say how old your son is….

    From a mum’s point of view, if your son is small, she has probably spent time getting him into a routine, meal times, bed times etc. It takes a lot of time & patience.

    My son sees his dad every weekend but I hate him going to his dad’s for new year because  a) his dad drinks a lot. b) he lets our son spend whole days unsupervised on the internet, c) he feeds him endless sugar so it takes a few days for him to calm down in time to go back to school on the 4th

    What does your ex say? What are her concerns?  Has she made other plans and is trying to fit around those?  Is she worried you will get drunk and not look after your son properly? Is she angry with you because she is left to cope for 340 days a year and then (in her eyes) you turn up just for the fun festive bit.

    Can’t you offer to see your son one weekend a month and give her a regular weekend off. That might benefit you all.

    #19607 Report

    SOLOMUMMY
    Participant

    How far away do you live?

    How old is your child,?

    How much contact do you get as a norm?

    #19608 Report

    DadD
    Participant

    My son is 6 I see him about 5 times a year but would love to see him more and I understand about the routine but there is no explanation as to why the sudden block. I want to be his dad I know distance is hard (133 miles) and he loves coming here every time I spoke on the phone he’s always saying I can’t wait to come to yours, and I’m not a drinker I’d rather spend the time with him doing something he likes. And I’d love to have him once a month but starting to feel she doesn’t want me to have time with him as he might want to be with me. I’d never want to take him away from her but just want to be a dad and do dad things with him. Everything I ask for or try is a NO straight away. He needs both in his life and believe he should be allowed too

    #19702 Report

    Liam94
    Participant

    Hey,

    Not quite the same circumstances but I can understand the frustration when you just want whats best for you son (see my recent post). I would suggest mediation? It sounds like the mother is going to be consistently difficult and it could be better to have some legal arrangement so that there is a schedule enforced which he can get used to knowing when he is going to be staying with his dad.

    Hope everything works out, message if you need a chat!

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