No support from my ex (£7 per week!) how can we survive?

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum No support from my ex (£7 per week!) how can we survive?

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  • #33130 Report

    Hi, I am looking for some help and advice please.</div>
    I left my partner in January this year after I caught him out cheating. We had been together for 10 years or so and always rented property which he always paid as I was raising our son and working 3 days so only part-time income I contributed to food, clothing,dinners out etc.  Soon after I left him he has claimed he has no money and can no longer afford private school which he has been paying for the last 3 years. I have moved home to my parents literally where the dogs sleep because I have 3 other siblings here too and there is nowhere else for us to go. I have spoken to the council to ask about housing but they advised I am never likely to get somewhere to live.
    I have had to contact the CMS as my ex is refusing to pay anything now. They have said based on his 2017 earnings he only has to pay £7 per week. How is that possible when he has previously been paying our rent £1400 plus school fees of nearly £4K per term?!  He recently started a new business but has been clever and not put his name to a single thing so I won’t be able to prove anything. All his work are cash jobs (he works in construction). He sold his previous business for 800k plus had 2 properties but has somehow put in other people’s names and claimed he is bankrupt.  I am trying to find a full time job in the City (I’m a PA) but then my childcare costs  breakfast club and after school care will increase so I don’t know if I’ll be better off. All of this I am struggling to pay on my own, plus my own bills credit card debt etc.
    Even going back full time I will never be able to afford a place to rent for me and my son. And no landlord will approve me anyway on my single salary.  I don’t claim any benefits have tried before and told that I earn too much plus I don’t have any rent to pay (even though I do pay a small amount to my parents for keep each month). I get tax free childcare where they contribute £2 to every £8 I pay in. But apparently as a single working mother I am not entitled to anything else. Part of me feels like I should quit my job and start claiming as many benefits as I can I would probably be better off!! Although not good for my state of mind sitting at home doing nothing.  I know my ex has found somewhere new to rent (although again nothing will be in his name) and every other weekend my son goes off and he doesn’t tell me where he’s going so I am left worrying. (He has a history of drugs and alcohol and has also lost his driving license).  I don’t know what to do? Any help or advice is much appreciated. Thanks

    #33138 Report



    As you’ve a few issues I would give the helpline a ring, you can find the number below under ‘contact us’.

    In the meantime I’d have a chat with social services as the drugs/alcohol thing is a welfare issue and I completely understand your worry.


    #33172 Report


    Hi Desperatelyseekinghelp,

    I’m one of the forum moderators at Gingerbread. It’s great to see you’re using the forum for support, and I hope other single parents who have similar experiences are able to help and advise you.

    It sounds like it might also be useful for you to contact our free helpline. Our expert advisers can help with a range of issues including child maintenance, benefits and housing. The number is 0808 802 0925, and the opening hours are: Monday 10am-6pm; Tuesday, Thursday & Friday 10am-4pm; Wednesday 10am-1pm & 5pm-7pm. Please do be aware that our helpline can get busy at times so you may have to wait.


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