No support for separated fathers getting social housing

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  • #18665 Report


    I have separated from my wife and the mother of my two children (6 & 4) nearly 6 months ago, and originally it was intended as a trial. As a result i moved into a shared house with 5 other people as that seemed suitable at the time based on the circumstances. However the separation is now permanent, and whilst i see my children regularly, they can never stay over with me.

    I pay my wife child maintenance (£300pm) and with all my other outgoings i simply cannot afford to rent my own place. I have applied for social housing but have been told i’m not eligible because they do not allow people onto the housing list solely for financial reasons, and that my current living situation is suitable for me as an individual.

    This means unless i have a dramatic pay rise (i work in the public sector so unlikely) or get a better job with a better wage (easier said than done) then i’m resigned to never being able to have my children stay with me which absolutely breaks my heart. It seems there is absolutely no support for dads in this sort of predicament and i have no idea what else i can do.

    Has anyone else got any other advice or guidance that i may be overlooking? Thanks in advance.

    #31323 Report


    Hi, I hope by now you’ve got something sorted out, however I am well aware of your problems and how they make you feel. I’m seperated twice with 5 kids to 2 mums. live in Scotland and was advised that with mum’s consent and signed agreement of kid(s) being allowed to stay up to 3 nights a week, this would help strengthen my position for a council house. The government have allowed the people with money (private landlords) to affect the housing market so much that, as usual, those with the least suffer the most. Hope things work out for you.

    #31358 Report


    Have you seeked advice form the likes of shelter or something similar. They might be able to help you. Your situation sound tough. But I’m sure there must be a way to get a home. Good luck

    #31398 Report


    I went to the council told them I needed somewhere for me and my daughter, she shrugged her shoulders and said that because I was not a druggie or alcoholic I was not a priority.

    I refuse to ‘share’ a house and let my young daughter stay over, so I have had to rent privately, financially its killing me. I have had to go on a debt management agreement as I couldn’t afford to pay an old loan off. Each month I have nothing left in the pot. I’m dreading the car breaking down.

    The only way to become a ‘priority’ is to be made homeless. Then they have to rehome you after 3 months… You have to be made homeless you cant just leave somewhere and say I can’t afford it. Sadly like me, you are a male and the council/government do not care about us. I wrote to my MP who was about as much help as a chocolate tea pot.

    Seriously if anyone on here thinks its okay for there children to stay in a shared house of strangers they really need to have a good look at themselves.


    #31684 Report


    Hi all, when I separated from my ex at the start of the year, I rightly or wrongly went straight into renting a two bed house privately. I had nothing in terms of furniture (more important to leave it in the family home for my child to enjoy), and no upfront fees, I asked for help from friends and charity, and the offers for furniture were overwhelming. I have been in at least 6 months now, and although it kills me financially every month, even with working overtime. I am coping in the solice that I have my own space, and my daughter can come stay whenever she wants. In honesty, it has probably helped me alot in getting over my ex and the terms under which we split. I would suggest asking for help and bite the bullet with the costs, it will pay off mentally if nothing else in the long run. You are right in one thing, there is no help for the non custodian whatsoever from the government. And we can only help ourselves. Hope this helps to give you a view from the other side of the decision, going it alone. I won’t lie mentally it’s hard (not having a penny to spare each month), but the physical benefits square it off. And hopefully long term, I will finally balance things out.

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