No one to speak to.. feeling worthless

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  • #40971 Report


    Hello all


    i am currently pregnant 19 weeks and been with my bf 2 years . I have a 8 year old who is deaf and he has been so good with her. I was with my current bf for a year untill he cheated on me and destroyed me he done so much lying that I managed to get over it and been back together a year. I aM pregnant and he was fine now he is saying he won’t ever love the baby and doesn’t want. Then one day he will say he is ok with it.

    he speaks to me with little respect and always puts me down I try my hardest to make everything right I have his dinner on table wash his clothes tidy the house , run him to work and back I pay all the bills.
    my family and friends hate him and tell me to get rid I don’t no what to do I love him and remember how hurt I was of him last year and just wanted him back. I’m so scared .
    he doesn’t let me see my friends or tell me they don’t like me and he hates it when I tell my mum I’m crying and upset.
    he tried to make me have an abortion . He has two kids already one he was in there life for 8 years but not seen for last two years and the other he doesn’t see at all and she is 3 x

    #40974 Report


    Sorry but he sounds like bad news. You deserve much better. Can you get in touch with your local Women’s Aid or equivalent as his behaviour is abusive – controlling and criticising you. There’s a reason why the mothers of the other two kids don’t want him in their life.

    #40977 Report


    You absolutely are not worthless. To Your daughter you are the most important, most valuable person in the world.

    It sounds like your bf is trying to undermine your confidence, & separate you from your family & friends so you have no-one to turn to. That sort of abuse sometimes starts when a woman is pregnant.

    You need to get some support, the Gingerbread helpline or WomansAid. I’m sure someone knowledgable will be along shortly, to help, but hang onto your friends, don’t believe your bf, and stay safe xx

    #40978 Report


    You sound like you’re in a similar situation to myself and so advice I cannot give as I am also stuck. I can however, offer sympathy and understanding. My days are dark and I am too, caught in a world where I love someone who treats me terribly.

    logically you know you deserve better. So do I.

    you deserve someone who makes you feel like the special person that you are. And I pray we both find strength to suffer the heartache necessary to release us from these bonds we have with such people.

    It is toxic. It isn’t healthy. It is trauma bonding caused by emotional abuse.

    Google it

    I too have an active thread, and always have an open inbox should u wish to talk or support each other


    I am Very low and have begun reaching out as I can’t take any more. Let’s find strength to do what is right. People like them don’t change. It’s their personalities.



    #40979 Report


    Ps for what it’s worth – it all began when I was pregnant too.


    the emotional abuse and cheating. My daughter is 6 months old now x

    #41003 Report

    Hi there

    These situations sound very difficult and I’m glad that others are able to empathise and share their experiences too.  The National Domestic Violence helpline should be able to help you to discuss what options you have.  You are all also welcome to contact our Single Parent Helpline.   Here are the details for both and I wish you all well, Justine

    • National Domestic Violence helpline – for support with regards to historic abuse  Freephone, 24-hour: 0808 2000 247

    • Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925

    Opening hours:  Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10- 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4  They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered.


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