No one to bubble up with!
13 June 2020 at 3:03 pm #40943
I thought I was managing pretty well with the current corona virus situation. I have been safely tucked away at home on furlough from my full time work, sharing all my time with my 2 children age 13 & 12. Its been pretty idyllic happily spent days in the garden, watching films, learning new crafts and more recently long walks along the coast. We have settled into this new normal and we’re doing more than OK until this week’s news briefing that stated single adults could now include visits to another household. I watched how people felt torn between spending their time with parents, partners or friends and became painfully aware that I had absolutely no one whom I could even consider close enough to form any kind of support bubble with. This feeling really caught me off guard. Having never had close family and an ex husband that we haven’t heard from in half a decade, I have friends but seem to keep them at a distance. I lead a fairly solitary existence. I have always prided my self in being uber self sufficient, quite the fierce Independant lone parent. It turns out that this attitude has only really caused excruciating loneliness. So the last few days have caused me to question all of my decisions, job, lifestyle, lack of social interaction with others. I’m feeling quite discombobulated and unsure of how to move forward. Please tell me I’m not alone.13 June 2020 at 3:59 pm #40944
I’m not sure it’s loneliness; maybe a realisation that life could be different – but of course it doesn’t have to be.
Like you in very self sufficient with two boys and it’s always been just me and them. I reckon one of two things will happen; you’ll either work out that your normal is safe and you want it or someone will come along and knock you off your feet! Either way; what’s not to like out of those options?!
I think as well it’s easy to underestimate how much of a shock to everyone’s system the current environment is. You’re not alone though.14 June 2020 at 2:26 am #40956
I’m the same. Single with 8yo son. I’m not from here but have lived for 18 yrs. No family and when husband wanted to leave ( and all the subsequent verbal abuse) I’ve not even got my in laws. Just found out today the woman he cheated on me with is due next month. We’re not even divorced yet!
Because I’m on my own and all my friends, who are lovely, but have family etc, have taken the opportunity to meet their own family. I’m in Scotland so rules slightly different from England. But overall, I find it not that much different during lockdown to my normal life. My son goes to his dad every other weekend and when I should be able to socialise everyone is taking the opportunity to have family time. So, once again I’m totally by myself.
How do you guys do shopping etc? I’ve had to leave my son in the car!14 June 2020 at 7:33 am #40958
Iceland home deliveries have basically saved me!!!14 June 2020 at 9:01 am #40960
I felt exactly same when I heard the news – just really sad and off keel that I’m in the situation of having no one to bubble up with (no close living relatives and no single mum friends). I try to be grateful for what I have but times like this leave me feeling very raw and exposed as a single mum. My life has gotten so much harder since lockdown. I still work full time from home (NHS so my job is at times crazy busy) and just exhausted and fed up of having to juggle usual responsibilities and now worries of a bloody virus and Intense loneliness. Sometimes I can block it out and try adjust your this new ‘normal’ but then stuff like the bubble go and derail me as I guess I’m jealous of people who can have a bubble. Or just have someone to share worries and responsibilities with full stop.
Anyway you are definitely not alone in finding the bubble a rather depressing new addition to this lonely time.14 June 2020 at 4:15 pm #40961
I feel the same at this time. Honestly, I’ve felt lonely since the start of lockdown with being pregnant. When I heard the bubble news, my immediate thought was I have no one to bubble up with and now I’m just worrying even more, realising how little support I’m going to have with this baby when it arrives and in my last stages of pregnancy (he’s due in September). The news made me realise that I’ve been coping with my loneliness by using the lockdown as an excuse for me being by myself and feeling that way, but in fact, I don’t actually have anyone really. Definitely a hard pill to swallow. But, I’m going to join groups after lockdown is over and try and get that support hopefully. So, realising we’re alone and want a bigger support network isn’t a bad thing! It’s actually just the beginning! Get yourself meeting people after lockdown eases more and at least you’ve had such great time with your children during this time. Definitely a positive. 🙂14 June 2020 at 7:30 pm #40967
I can so relate to your situation. I have been a single mother for the pass 2 years after a very bad relationship with a total narcissistic man. Luckily, your husband spends time with his child, my ex partner doesn’t want to hear from or even help financially. When I met his family, his mother used to call me her angel now, she barely answer my messages and I barely speak to me, as she believes I am the cause of her son’s behavior.
I have tried everything, during our 11 years together, but never was able to make him happy.
What I usually do I order my shopping on pick and collect, with my son.
I’m in the UK not sure it’s the same for Scotland.24 June 2020 at 7:01 pm #41601
It is hard 6+ years now as a lone parent with 3 kids. Left due to domestic abuse. Father never sees them & no one to help – just me & the kids.
At first I was “oh…we’ve no one to bubble with” but try to see the good side! Less infection chances!! It does make me sad that everyone’s looking forward to “being together again” when we have no family or friends to celebrate being able to meet up with.
But it is what it is. We are our own bubble & plod along. Cant wait until alls back to normal/works back & we can bounce along but in a way im im dreading that to tbh! Its been nice not having to stress about being off work as a kids ill or getting up crazy early!! You are your bubble – and youre special & just different – thats all xx17 July 2020 at 9:36 pm #42317
I can totally relate to what you said and I actually didn’t realise until I read how you described things that it is me all over. My kids school closed today until September 2nd and I am dreading the summer holidays which feels like another long drag of lockdown same old, same old. Always worrying lockdown might happen again. I try my hardest and have been trying my hardest since lockdown but each day I don’t feel better I feel worse. Sad, fed up, lonely and sad. So yeah I hear ya and I get it. Weird isn’t it how life presents itself. L18 July 2020 at 9:16 am #42319
I feel the same. I knew before lockdown I needed friends as I have moved to a new area. But it is easier said than done and I feel a little at the point where I don’t know what else to do to make friends. I’ve joined here and posted to see if there are any local people to meet up with, I’ve searched for local groups to join. I’ve tried mush and frolo, but I find that my area is clicky and everyone only talks to their family members as we live in a small town. I’m a bit fed up, and lockdown has made it worse as it’s all about families and bubbles.