No one to ask to help out

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  • #16676 Report

    Stj123
    Participant

    Does anyone else struggle with juggling everything. My ex doesn’t see our 3 kids, I have two jobs with variable hours, never go out and no family who will help at all, friends have their own busy lives and it just seems there’s never a minute to rest. It all feels too much and the kids never get nice time anymore will it always be like this I can’t see things improving and feel like I could collapse after work some nights

    #16679 Report

    JaneE
    Participant

    Hi

    I’m in the same situation. I work full time in a stressful job and find it difficult to get away on time which means I’m late picking the kids up and I feel guilty that I don’t have enough time for cooking healthy food, doing homework, keeping the house tidy, dealing with the millions of letters home from school that need me to sign permissions and pay for stuff. I’m always muttering to myself ‘for gods sake I got my cheque book out yesterday for something and now another request for a payment!’

    The kids are always late for school, I forget EVERYTHING and generally feel like the most useless parent ever.

    My mum, who grudgingly has the kids when I am absolutely desperate, constantly tells me how useless I am, how horrible it is for my kids to go to the wrap around care at school and gives me blatantly obvious advice that I already know.

    I don’t get time to myself. I am either at work, or with the kids.

    I actually did collapse one day at the swimming pool having just dropped eldest child off for a lesson.  The youngest saw me, she must have been so frightened. I feel so guilty for that!

    #16681 Report

    xxx
    Participant

    I’m in the same boat as well. No one seems to realise how impossible it is but as they get bigger and more independent hopefully it gets more possible I have no idea. I cling to the hope my kids will remember and appreciate the dedication despite not being able to do it all. I have given up on all the housework and stuff just focus on showing a fun face to the kids forget the cleaning and just hang out. It’s all too much and yet you have not abandoned them.  That’s the essence of parenthood so well done much love and although I can’t help I do know what u are going through.  XxxxxxX

    #16682 Report

    Stj123
    Participant

    Thank you both it’s good to know it’s not just me who feels like this, as I feel I’ve failed sometimes as my family constantly say other people manage and maybe I don’t prioritise well enough and that I should be cooking proper meals every night and doing this or that. It’s hard enough sometimes just putting on a smile in front of the kids never mind getting through never ending list of stuff to do without added criticism. I usually just get on with it and grateful the kids are coping ok but lately it feels overwhelming.  People seem to say ask for help now and then take time for yourself but what when you haven’t anyone to ask.

    Flying, It’s true things like housework just become less important maybe I just need a thicker skin. I also live in hope the bigger they get the easier it might be.

    Jane your situation also sounds very similar I know what you mean about feeling guilty I’m too exhausted to read  or do homework’s sometimes with the kids and feel I’m useless.

    thanks for your replies it feels better knowing it’s not just me feeling like this xx

    #16683 Report

    Gingey28
    Participant

    Know where u come from when ppl say manage just get on with it. I have a lot of help and support tbf but yano you are only one person and its damn tough on your own

    #16695 Report

    Westernchampion
    Participant

    On a positive note it sounds like you are all working incredible hard and doing agood job to provide for your family. I too know what it’s like to do this with no help. You have to take time for yourself though and you have to give credit to yourself.

    #16712 Report

    The Loner
    Participant

    I know exactly what you mean. I get so stressed I lose sleep (hence why I am messaging at this hour 😫). But I tell myself tomorrow is a new day and hopefully it will not be as difficult.

    As for it getting easier, it does in some ways but it also comes with new challenges. My eldest is 11, then 9 (soon to be 10) and youngest is 8. Still require full time supervision but they are a lot more independent and I can have a me time (in my room of course) which is something I couldn’t even do when they were younger so I appreciate that immensely, even on sleepless night like this one.

     

     

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