Hi, my ex has not paid me any money since beginning of 2020, mainly because of COVID. But I do know he was being paid furlough. I have emailed him twice now asking for money, each time he replied he couldn’t afford it. He owns 2 properties and has his own business. He has given my children £200 each on their birthdays, and gone on holiday. Last email reply he said he could start giving my son (only child under 18) pocket money. I told him if he is giving the money it needs to go to me. I know he has spoken to my son about giving him money for a laptop.
I am a student as I’m now pursuing a career I couldn’t when I supported his career whilst I raised the kids (his job took him away). Money is tight, it costs a lot to support my teen son. The money isn’t just about spending money for my son- it’s to pay rent and bills that puts a roof over the head of my child. When we split nothing was ever legally agreed as I was left penniless on benefits and couldn’t afford a lawyer. I can’t afford a lawyer now, so how can I get him to pay?
I feel you. When I split from my ex he never paid for months then any payments were inconsistent. We had numerous mutual agreements but none ever worked. I’m lucky I work full time so able to provide for our son myself, and I always said I wouldn’t force him to help. My feelings changes when he started wearing best of gear, umpteen nights out and finally booked holiday to Tenerife, that’s when I had had enough. He had plenty money for himself but not his son. At that time I bought all Xmas and birthday presents, he appeared on the day pretending he helped towards them. I finally decided to contact Child Maintence Services and get a legally binding agreement, only cost £20 to set up. Initially it was direct pay, they calculated costs and he paid me directly, so no additionally fees. This worked for a bit then he became inconsistent again, eventually payments stopped in June this year. Since then he’s bought house, several holidays without his son etc, so I finally moved to collect and pay. It didn’t go down well as they take 20% additional fee from him. I do feel bad it’s got to this stage but I’m fed up being the one that sacrifices for our son, when he should be too. Stand your ground and do what’s right for you!
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