No contact until interim contact hearing
18 September 2021 at 2:33 pm #59730
Hi separated a year ago and CAO is in courts, have bail conditions whilst a case is under investigation, and because my ex has only recently stopped all contact, I have only this week had an interim contact hearing confirmed for December (the earliest available date)
I still have full PR and their are no court orders in place, but the bail conditions limit what I can/would do to see my child.
My ex stopped all contact shortly after I had shared evidence with police in relation to the accusations made against me and am informed that this is against the advice of Police & children’s services.
I know I could just ‘steal’ time with my LO, but I left the relationship to protect them from the toxic nature of my marriage and am trying to do all I can to continue to protect them from being in the middle….. clearly swimming against the tide to do so.
I am now mentally preparing myself for another 3 months with zero contact with my child and want to ask if anyone has advice on how I can ensure that she feels as little abandonment as possible.
Child is 4 y/o and letters/cards would have to be read by mum and I worry that this could be used as harassment or challenge bail conditions.
I speak with the school weekly to make sure that I know what she has done so that when I do see her, she will feel like I have been present and am aware of everything that she has done.
I have asked investigating police, solicitors & children’s services to advise or reach out to my ex and persuade her to change their mind.
I have asked family and friends to reach out and ask for contact separate to me, so that LO doesn’t feel like we have all disappeared.
I would like to send flowers or toys or photos but worry this would cause mum to react further.
Are there any ideas or experiences that you could share?
I also want to make sure that when contact is reinstated that this doesn’t further damage the LO. Right now I feel like she can accept that I am not there but at some point we will have to separate again and I want to make sure this is done right for her. So any sites or reading material or coaching would be great.
TIA18 September 2021 at 11:10 pm #59735
is there a non-molestation order against you? I would suggest to avoid any contact with your ex. as you mentioned, any gifts or cards that you send may be reported as harrassment. It will be very difficult for you now, but somehow I think you need to lie low and avoid contacting your ex. try to keep yourself occupied with work, exercise and socializing with your friends and family. try to patiently wait for your next hearing.19 September 2021 at 12:48 pm #59741
Thanks for your response, it is exactly as I thought and am trying to do.
No there are no other orders and I think my ex was trying for the non-mol when she called the police ( she had told me about some rule of 3 and after the 1st call I never went back to the house and had family/friends drop the little one home to avoid any chance of an accusation).
I have done everything I can to keep things as amicable as possible but each time I have refused to do as told things have gotten harder to see my little one.19 September 2021 at 12:52 pm #59742
You are entitled to see the kids, call them and send them presents etc.19 September 2021 at 12:54 pm #59743
Is there a contact order in place?