Newly single parent with baby

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  • #31910 Report


    Hi there I’m new to this forum and just looking for some advice/support as I go through such a difficult time.

    My ex partner suffers from mental health problems and in the time we were together went missing on more than a few occasions. He’s been getting help and since May has been doing really well.

    However a month ago he had a relapse and walked out on me and our 6 month old baby. He was arrested for drink driving and then left the county 3 days later. I’ve heard nothing since and as much as I’m hurting so badly I miss him so much.

    I have no contact as he took nothing with him and his family are being un supportive towards me and our baby to say the least, all they’ll tell me is he’s gone away to try sort himself out. (He has also had a child to a precious partner) I’ve initially started the REMO process which is the equivalent of our CSA and wondered if anyone has ever done this themselves that could give me any advice? It’s hard as I have no idea of his address only the town/country where he is.

    Im still on maternity leave until early next year so now have the added stress of finances etc to sort. I had my universal credit appointment yesterday who have said I’ll get some help. I’m really struggling as to how you work out what benefits you will receive once you return to work. I need to meet with my work to discuss hours etc but until I know what support I will get benefit wise I’m unsure what hours to do. All the job centre could tell me is that the amount I receive is likely to go down when I return to work. Getting through day to day is hard enough right now and then all this added stress is just mind blowing.

    please tell me things do get easier, the thought of being on my own as a single parent terrifies me even though me and my family will ensure my daughter has the best upbringing.

    Any help or advice anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated x

    #31917 Report


    I was in a similar situation.
    being on your own with a baby is hard, talk to your health visitor as they can organise extra support for you by extra visits, organising extra things for you like therapy.
    Talk to friends or your family members and organise a either a fortnightly or monthly day where they look after the baby so you can have a baby-free day…trust me you need it.

    My ex isn’t on my daughter birth certificate so his family and him have no right to my daughter (he was abusive so it’s for the best).
    I’m currently on universal credit and studying my masters so I can be out of work until my daughter is 3years old then back to work for me. As your maternity pay goes down, your universal credit should increase as maternity pay is counted as an income. Just make sure everyone is on your account so you can get child and housing elements.
    its especially hard when your the only single parent in your area or friendship group (like me) but best thing is to push yourself to go to stay and play in your area and make new friends.

    ever want to talk send me a message, I’m around most of the time 😊

    #32040 Report


    Hi thanks for the reply 🙂

    My family are being amazing but I totally agree I just need to plan some me times. It’s so hard being a mummy alone 24/7

    Im struggling to work out how much I’ll get from universal credit once I go back to work next year. No one seems to be able to advise on how much I’ll get.

    How old is your little girl? How long have you been a single parent if you don’t mind me asking?  Have you found it gets easier?

    If you’d prefer to message me direct that’s fine 🙂 x

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