Newly single parent

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  • #45566 Report

    Taurus18
    Participant

    I’ve have very recently split up with my daughter’s dad,he’s currently staying with me until he finds a place but has got a new girlfriend so to speak

    I’m really struggling and totally heartbroken with the situation my little girl is 2 and I don’t want her to be picking up on the situation

    I’m constantly in tears and just so down right now especially worrying about being on my own and bringing up my little girl alone

    Has anyone been through this there selves?I could really do with some advice right now

    Thankyou

    #45581 Report

    Peppers
    Participant

    hi, I’m really sorry for you.

    I just need dumpers but my boyfriend of nearly 4 years after telling him I pregnant. He literally moved out the next morning.

     

    I hope you can find the strength, I’m trying so much.

    #45584 Report

    Terry123
    Participant

    Hi.

    Really sorry to read about this. I’ve been with my wife for 24 years and she completely changed at the end of the first lockdown. I pleaded for her to tell me what was going on and if she wanted me to leave. She continued to tell me we were just going through a bad patch. After months of sleeping on the sofa and constant arguments I found out my daughter had been cutting herself. I called the doctor and took her out to get her out of the house and talk. She completely broke down and said that her mother, my wife was having a relationship with another man and told her if she said anything it would “destroy everything “. My daughter has been in a bad place. I moved out and am renting a room at present as I found out my wife (who was in control of all the money) had not paid the bills since before the first lockdown.

    I’m feeling much the same. As much as I’m really , really hurt, I’m missing my son , daughter and dog but I really miss my wife. I know I can never go back but everyday is a struggle. I believe and have been told that it will get better with time. Its been 2 weeks since I moved out. I take the kids and the dog out everyday and found out my wife is moving on very quickly indeed. But I feel so down about things.

    #45585 Report

    Taurus18
    Participant

    Wow I’m so sorry to hear that that’s such an awful thing for your daughter,I hope shes ok now?

    It’s just a constant ache isn’t it?a pain that won’t go away,even though they’ve destroyed you you still miss them

    People have said the same to me but I’m struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel,I’d do anything to have him back and be happy again 

    It’s just a constant battle 

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    #45586 Report

    Dalma
    Participant

    It truly feels sad after reading you all. I am in a kind of situation which cannot be explained. I felt I am alone but I see lot of people like me and more in pain than me.

    #45590 Report

    LKL75
    Participant

    Hi Taurus18. I am really sorry to hear about your situation. It is really hard raising a child alone, but you somehow find a way. I can fully understand how sad you must be feeling and worried that your daughter will pick up on it too. It is impossible to completely shield our kids from our feelings when we are feeling low. She will be okay, so long as you can still show her you love her and make her feel safe. My boy’s Dad left when he was three months old, and has been very inconsistent in seeing him since then. It’s has been really tough raising him alone, but on the plus side my boy and are I very close and bonded. He has seen me cry on various occasions, but always knows that his Mum is there for him. He initially struggled with separation anxiety when he started school in 2018. He is six now, and more settled and doing well at school, and is a loving and funny boy! I hope your girl’s Dad will be a supportive co-parent when he moves out. Please know you are not alone, there are so many of us in the same situation. I hope you have friends and family to talk to. Sending you a virtual hug! X

    #45591 Report

    Taurus18
    Participant

    i just seem to constantly be crying,I don’t want to be without him and the thought of him in another relationship already before he’s even left just breaks my heart

    I don’t think he’ll be a good co parent she won’t be a priority to him at all which makes things even worse

    He’s sending the odd mixed message too,thankyou for your words and sending hugs back x

    #45592 Report

    Terry123
    Participant

    Yes it is really hard. I’m trying to keep myself as busy as possible. I come home from work, run 5k ,go and see the kids go back and clean. Over the last 3-4 months going through all this I’ve lost 4 stone in weight it is hard as I saw my wife and I together forever. I have no friends as I wasn’t allowed them when we were married. I’ve lost everything. But I would rather lose everything than live a lie anymore. All I can do is rebuild and take one day at a time. But she is constantly on my mind 24/7.

    Ive never been on a community forum before but I think it helps knowing that people are going through the same situation.

    #45593 Report

    Taurus18
    Participant

    I’m trying to do the same keep busy but I just can’t seem to focus on anything,I haven’t been eating either and sleeping is just out the window

    I’ve only got my parents no close friends gave up everything to have my own little family

    I’m in the same boat I think of him every second of the day,how can he have moved on from our relationship so easily?

    This is my first time on one of these too it’s comforting to know your not the only one going through this

    #45594 Report

    Terry123
    Participant

    How long as this been happening between you ??. I feel for you I really do.

    Its a truly horrible feeling. I’ve only just started eating properly again but sleep is still an issue.

    Maybe when he moves out it will act as a positive for you. I really didn’t want to go but I put the kids first with the arguments and comments that both myself and my wife were constantly shouting at each other.

    #45595 Report

    Taurus18
    Participant

    We split up for 3 weeks last month that’s when he was seeing her got back together for a week last week and he started things back up with her just this weekend!

    Do you find you just can’t switch your head off?

    I think it will obviously help but I really don’t want him to go,I’m madly in love with him even with how nasty and cruel he’s being

    He tells me all about her like she’s better then me but then he says he might be just doing it to hurt me I’m so lost with it all

    It’s so much harder when children are involved isn’t it you can’t just cut them off and I’m in the position of worrying about him taking me daughter round this girl which I don’t want at all it’s agonising

    #45596 Report

    Terry123
    Participant

    I know EXACTLY what you mean by “can’t switch off”. Especially when he talks about her to you. Bless you.

    I’m in work currently on my lunch break. If you need to continue chatting I will come back on later. I really, really feel your pain. I know exactly how you feel.

    #45597 Report

    Taurus18
    Participant

    It’s just asking its toll now and really effecting me

    Yes that would be good its nice to talk to someone going through the same sort of thing

    It’s like a physical pain isnt it that’s just constantly there

    #45598 Report

    Terry123
    Participant

    Yes of course….talk soon.

    #45608 Report

    Terry123
    Participant

    Hi Taurus 18

    You mean the feeling in the top of your stomach and in the chest that won’t go away ?.

    Yes it just won’t go !!!. I also feel numb to everything at the moment towards work…well everything really. Today has been a good day in the grand scheme of things. I’ve been though months of this pain inside even when I was still living at the house with my now ex wife. The highlight of my day is seeing my two children (which I’ve just come back from). I always feel happier then.

    Do you think that perhaps there’s a chance you can possibly save your marriage???. Any chance at all?.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)

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