Newly single mum with 2 young kids

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  facethetruth 4 months ago.

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  • #26724 Report

    facethetruth
    Participant

    Hi everyone, someone recommended this forum to me because i was feeling very stuck and depressed as a newly single mum. I was married for 9 years and only discovered nov 2018 that my husband was a fake, he was not really a practicing christian, he never loved me, was just using me for uk citizenship and was cheating on me the whole time we were married and everyone of his friends knew but me. He isolated me alot when our kids were born, i lost touch with myself, church, friends etc. I have no family support or friends here in London. My kids are 2 and 3, He doesnt give child support (he’s still trying to find work) and because of his lifestyle of drugs, sex and dodgy friends i dont let him see the kids unsupervised at all which gives me no free time to myself. Our divorce will be final next month which is great but my kids are ‘developmentally’ a bit behind (not yet talking much) because living with him was hell. I was so stressed i couldnt focus and relate with them as i needed to, i was so overwhelmed by the constant cooking, cleaning, feeding, diaper changes, bathing etc. This is all so shocking, like i wish i could press a rewind button and go back to make better choices, I never expected to have to raise 2 kids alone and i’m so overwhelmed. How do i get my life back? How can i get trustworthy people around me? How can i get my kids talking and socially happy? How can i get some time to take care of myself? Please i will appreciate any advice you can give. I really want to feel whole again. Thank you ❤🙏🏽

    #26725 Report

    PeterD
    Participant

    Hi F

    I went through a messy separation that effected my two eldest to the point where they refused to go to school.

    When they were in the care of their mother she couldn’t cope.

    It got to the point where I had to get social services involved.What they did was to make a referral to an organisation called Nightingale.They help young kids to get back into mainstream education. They start by home education two or three times a week until the young ones are confident enough to be taken into a small class. This will then lead onto mainstream schooling. It can take time but the people who run this organisation are so understanding.They are so supportive

    The change in my two had been fantastic. From kids who wouldn’t even step out the door because they were so messed up to kids who can’t for their teachers to pick them up😁😁😁

    They have been involved now for just under a year so as I said earlier it can take time.

    we all need help every now and again and that’s nothing to be ashamed of especially when kids are involved.

    I understand that people may be afraid to have the authority’s involved but they do help and give great support not only to the kids but also to the adults.

    I hope this helps

    P

    #26755 Report

    facethetruth
    Participant

    Thank you very much P. I will look into the organisation you mentioned. I believe all will get better with time.

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