Newly single and pregnant

[1989]

Hi all,

I am 8 weeks pregnant and my partner has recently ended our relationship and kicked me out of his flat. He is staying he still wants our child but will not be there to support me throughout the pregnancy. I feel so hurt and alone and betrayed by his actions. I really can’t see myself being able to do this on my own. I’ve read so many inspiring blogs on here but I don’t think I’m strong enough.

[Alan83]

Hi I’m Alan, logged on this evening for the first time in Maybe a year. I’m struggling this evening so thought I’d have a look around and saw your message as the most recent.

 

I’m not really one for knowing the right thing to say unfortunately but thought something might be better than nothing.

 

Just sending you a big hug. You are strong enough because you have to be. For you and for your little one. Be strong.

 

xx

[Welshdad]

This will have much more weight if it came from a mum, but I have a few friends who were once in similar situations.  They have not all done it alone, but they have done it all with an absent father (absent as doesn’t give a **** as opposed to separate but involved and supportive).  You will find you are stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for and you will get through this.

If the father wants to be involved then he needs to support you right now an ethical perspective (I’m sure there are all sorts of legal red tape indicating they have rights regardless but this isn’t the focus right now if he has abandoned you), to not be there for you is to turn his back on his own child and is to his detriment and shame on him.  If he wants nothing to do with you both now, dont make allowances for later.  Make it clear that if this is how he sees it you will be focusing on you and your child and you will do whatever it takes to ensure you are both OK, and that might mean moving to where you have support for example.  It really is a case of looking out for yourselves (you and your baby) at this critical time so make sure you focus on your health above a else.  Hopefully a mum will contact you on here whose words can offer more support than mine but please stay strong and look after yourself.  Get as much support as you possibly can and focus on those who give you support.  For those that turn their back on you dont give them headspace, right now you need to focus on you and your baby.

[1989]

Thank you both for your kind words sometimes all we need is encouragement to get through these hard times.

[GingerbreadJustine]

Hi 1989

I’m Justine, one of the moderators here.  I’ll be sending you a personal message.

Kind regards

[Mlr]

Hi 1989,

Becoming pregnant whether planned or a surprise is daunting. There are a lot of things to think about and changes, but if you take one step at a time you will be absolutely fine. As for the dad, it’s much better to go it alone if he’s not 100% committed. Theres nothing worse than thinking you can depend on someone and when the time comes they are not there. I’m sure you will be strong enough to do it by yourself.

What is important right now is looking after yourself and your baby. You are strong and you can do this x

[Author]

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