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  • #59303 Report

    Nicw
    Participant

    Hi,

    I have just become a single mum. We separated weeks ago and am so damn miserable. I know it was the right thing to do, the relationship was abusive but I’m struggling. My kids are amazing but I can’t help but think I should have done more, tried harder …. but then I also think there are only so many times you can be hurt, let down, betrayed before you say enough is enough. He’s trying to get back in but I’m staying strong and sticking to it being Iver because after 4 years on the hamster wheel, I NEED off .

    #59305 Report

    anikey
    Participant

    Well done Nicw, it’s definitely better for all of you to end a relationship that isn’t right. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t also really really hard sometimes being single, and so daunting that you do get tempted to go back, try to give it one more go…

    In the end though it’s so rewarding to opt for the healthier and wiser choices, and role model that for your kids. I am so glad that my daughter gets to grow up in a calm peaceful environment. I lived with both my parents but one was so mentally unhealthy and thus abusive, and it was exhausting

    #59702 Report

    Nicw
    Participant

    Yeah, the temptation to say gibenit one more try is definitely there but I know , in a few weeks or days even, it’ll just all start again and I can’t cope with it. Like you say, its exhausting and far more draining than being alone with the kids. I know its the right thing to do but your mind has a funny way of tricking you into remembering the good times. I just give myself a quick reality check of ‘rambert the bad times, the lies, hurt and betrayals too ‘ and thats seems to help a bit. Just such a huge adjustment but I know I’m doing the right thing for my children.

    #59703 Report

    Nicw
    Participant

    Apologies for the typos … i was in a rush!!!

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