Newly seperated, confused

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  • #29603 Report

    Swifty284
    Participant

    newly seperated from my wife, very confused as to how to move forward. After 17 feels very strange to be on my own. Looking forward to having my kids around as they keep me sane

    #29605 Report

    G.S.7145.P
    Participant

    Hi swifty284, sorry to hear you have separated, it’s not easy. My ex husband left me 3 years ago, after nearly 16 years, although we lived separately for 2 years with selling properties etc.

    There is no right or wrong way of moving forward, doesn’t matter what people say, what works for one won’t work for another.

    I didn’t have children with him (long story), but I do have a 6 month old baby and I’m on my own.

    The thing that helped me was having good friends around me, albeit only one kind of knew what I was going through. But to have someone you can chat to late at night or early morning does really help.

    Try not to bottle things up, you’ve done amazing by posting on here how you are feeling.

    #29616 Report

    gilo1973
    Participant

    Hi Swifty

    I am just starting on that same journey as my wife (been together 24 years) has decided she wants a different life – one without me! Like you I am lost and not sure what to do so I am signing up for everything and going to see what the Rotary is like just to try and make some independent friends as having moved to a new area 10 years ago our whole social life revolved around parents of our kids so my only contact is with husbands of my wife’s friends.

    I must admit I am getting some comfort from people on this site as it shows me that if others can pull through there is hope for me. My son is 17 so hope he will spend a reasonable time with me but he is going to go to Uni in a year and then I fear it will be really tough so need to focus now on going those new groups and can only advise the same.

    I am always willing to swap notes with you if you have a good way to move forward

    #29622 Report

    Robson2732
    Participant

    You are at the beginning no one or nothing will help you unfortunately you just have to go though it

    #29626 Report

    Kanger1
    Participant

    Hi

    Sorry to hear that, be prepared for highs and lows but just keep moving forward. I am nearly 9months separated, we were together nearly 14yrs and have a 9 yr old who needs alot of reassurance ๐Ÿ˜•

    Book in for a free solicitors advice session also see if you can get any counselling it really helped me even if it was only 7 sessions. This forum helps keep you sane as everyone is at different stages.

    Take time to grieve the relationship and get out with friends as and when you can. I joined the meetup app to make new friends as my age group of friends are all in happy families with young kids so not around that often. Really recommend the app!

     

    #29629 Report

    Robson2732
    Participant

    Hey never heard of it mine are too old now wish I knew a few yrs ago ๐Ÿ˜

    #29677 Report

    Swifty284
    Participant

    Thanks everyone for your words. Is hard, feel abit out of control at the moment. Even some paranoia has crept in which I’ve never had before, wondering if my Male friends who have helped her have a hidden agenda. She isn’t my partner anymore so I shouldn’t be so bothered.

    She will message and call most days which makes it hard to keep.my head straight and frustrated me.

    I worry about so.many things but mainly physical and emotional connections with others in the future, 17 years with the same person is a long time and makes the whole talking to.people feel a bit weird.

     

    Hope this makes sense

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