Newly separated what do I need to do

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  • #9596 Report


    So I found out over the weekend that my husband of 7 years has been cheating on me. There’s no way back from this

    I have two boys aged 3 and nearly 1 and live in a rented house. I work part time and can’t cover the rent/ bills etc on my own. I’m going to see citizens advice tomorrow but what are the other key things I need to put in place to support my sons and keep a roof over our heads

    any advice would be greatly appreciated

    from a very stressed mummy Xx

    #9598 Report



    Citizens advice is a great start. Off the top of my head,  the things you need to consider are;

    – council tax reduction as a single person

    –  working and child tax credits. Apply asap as it’s back dated to when you apply.

    – maintenance. If you are amicable you can arrange this between you in the first instance which is by far the best way. Google ‘maintenance calculator’ for an idea on how much he should be paying. Any issues, call the CMS who can do a calculation for you and collect the money but that’s very very slow!

    – talk through the divorce process with citizens advice. Depending on your circumstances, you can do much of it yourself to save money on solicitors etc.

    – Consider a Parental Plan regarding his access to his children and how you will continue to parent them together. There’s a good one on the caffcass website. It’s not for everyone but is worth looking at.

    Most importantly, look after yourself. I was very open and honest with everyone about what had happened and was so glad I was as I’ve had a lot of support and it’s strengthened friendships and kept me sane. If you have family or friends locally, take up any offer of help and support. If you can, get time by yourself, doing something you enjoy as it’ll make you feel better.

    It does get easier. I’m 5 months into this and some days are still pretty pants if I’m honest but my daughter and I are settling into a new normal and we’re both doing ok. Life is beginning to look up!

    Hope that this helps

    #9608 Report


    I also just went through my direct debits to see if there was anything I could cut to save a bit too. Tax creds also changed my payments immediately and paid for 90% of childcare while I worked as now single parent with lower income.

    But ultimately as above dont try and do it all at once. Its a huge change and takes time. I am almost 2 yrs down the line and things are just about normal as life can be with just me and my babies.

    Good luck.xx

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