Newly separated, new single parent

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  • #37745 Report


    Hi everyone, I am completely out of my depth. Newly separated with an ex who is still living with me & our son.

    As well as witnessing arguments which he shouldn’t I am increasingly concerned about my son.

    I am trying to get an occupancy order as my concerns are increasing daily, I am not comfortable with this choice but can see no other way of protecting my son!

    Has anyone had any experience of this sort of situation? Thanks Jaynie

    #37747 Report


    Currently living it, Jaynie. Newly separated, living together due to finances, two boys aged 11 and 13. cannot afford to live on my own. that’s the sad truth.

    #37755 Report


    I’ve just moved into my own place and still paying half the mortgage on the other until its sold and it’s expensive living on your own for sure!

    #37767 Report


    hi Jaynie,

    im going through similar at the moment too. Me and my husband have separated and he is refusing to move out.  i feel totally trapped and that i cant escape. we have 2 girls aged 10 and 11 and they have witnessed arguements too.  He suffers from anger anxiety and depression but is verbally and mentally abusive to myself every single day. i have looked at moving out myself with my girls but i am unsure if i would receive universal credit due to being on the mortgage.  he says if i move out then he would lose the house anyway as he couldnt afford it but wont move out himself as he wont let me get my own way!! this i can not get my head round. basically he would let his children move out but then lose the house anyway. This is his mentality. He continually gaslights to the point i feel like i am going literally crazy and actually doubt myself and my sanity.


    All i want is to live a quiet little life with my girls without the constant abuse i receive. he says if i move out he will take me to court for full custody and while im positive he wouldnt get them full time( he drinks every single night, punches walls, threatens me occasionally, calle me horrific things) hes so good at manipulating people that i do worry what lies he’ll tell.

    so basically im stuck living in this hell because i cannot afford to move out by myself.  I’ve even asked him to take my name off the mortgage so i could get help financially but he refuses. He has always handled all the money side of things and i have no idea who our mortgage is with and he has hidden the paperwork im pretty sure.  he knows im stuck living here and revels in it too. he says if we move out then he has nothing to live for which then makes my girls worry he’ll kill himself.

    he says its prefectly normal for separated people to live together but this toxity is having such an impact on my children.

    literally dont know where to go to for help.




    #37768 Report


    That is awful, it is the most degrading, lonely & soul destroyed experience your life!

    Have u contacted a charity called splitz? They will assess you & I think in your case would be able to help you!

    They have been amazing for me!

    Big hugs XxX


Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)

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