im going through similar at the moment too. Me and my husband have separated and he is refusing to move out. i feel totally trapped and that i cant escape. we have 2 girls aged 10 and 11 and they have witnessed arguements too. He suffers from anger anxiety and depression but is verbally and mentally abusive to myself every single day. i have looked at moving out myself with my girls but i am unsure if i would receive universal credit due to being on the mortgage. he says if i move out then he would lose the house anyway as he couldnt afford it but wont move out himself as he wont let me get my own way!! this i can not get my head round. basically he would let his children move out but then lose the house anyway. This is his mentality. He continually gaslights to the point i feel like i am going literally crazy and actually doubt myself and my sanity.
All i want is to live a quiet little life with my girls without the constant abuse i receive. he says if i move out he will take me to court for full custody and while im positive he wouldnt get them full time( he drinks every single night, punches walls, threatens me occasionally, calle me horrific things) hes so good at manipulating people that i do worry what lies he’ll tell.
so basically im stuck living in this hell because i cannot afford to move out by myself. I’ve even asked him to take my name off the mortgage so i could get help financially but he refuses. He has always handled all the money side of things and i have no idea who our mortgage is with and he has hidden the paperwork im pretty sure. he knows im stuck living here and revels in it too. he says if we move out then he has nothing to live for which then makes my girls worry he’ll kill himself.
he says its prefectly normal for separated people to live together but this toxity is having such an impact on my children.