Newly separated mam of 2, we’re all struggling

[WelshMamaParticipant]

Hi everyone,

just a quick introduction, my husband and I separated last year but have stayed living in the same home because of our two children. I had always hoped we would reconcile and try again for our family but my husband has had enough and told our children he is moving out and we won’t be a family anymore.

The children are absolutely broken, as am I. He moved out three days ago and we aren’t sleeping or eating well at all. My children cry for him all the time and bedtimes/through the nights are the hardest. My 10 year old understands better but my 4 year old is really not coping. He keeps asking daddy to come back home and asking when that will be.

Although we physically separated a year ago this has shaken me to the core and I just feel broken and unable to do anything. I don’t know where to start or what to do. The loneliness is also a killer. I relocated when we married and I have absolutely no friends  around here, I am completely on my own.

I feel so guilty for crying in front of my children but I am struggling to keep it together. I am just petrified this is all causing them irreparable damage.

When does it get easier? 😔

[RamblinjonParticipant]

Hiya, I can understand your heartbreak, especially as you’ve kind of been left in limbo for the past year. Your going through the hardest stage now but looking at it in a different way this is the start of a new stage in your life, one that you can build up to what you want it to be, you have a chance to move on and find your own happiness again.

Please don’t overly worry about your children, kids are much more adaptive than we are and they will soon get there heads around the situation, they must of sensed some wasn’t right and I’m sure in time they will be able to put this behind them without any lasting damage, their hearts heal much quicker than an adults does.

Hang in there, you’ll find things will get better in time.

Mark

[welshdadParticipant]

It’s a nightmare living in confusion like that.  It’s the middle ground that makes it difficult.  Hopefully as painful as it is that he has left now it means you can start dealing with it as the unknown is sometimes the worst part.

Have sent you a PM.

It will feel really difficult right now but things will get better once you are past the initial stages.  You’re going to be OK.

[Author]

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