Newly separated and struggling

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  • #39292 Report



    I have been separated for about four weeks now.

    We decided to separate after a long talk about the problems in our marriage.


    Even though it was mostly my decision not to try again, because this isn’t the first time we have had these problems I’m  really struggling.  I’m scared and confused, I’m worried that I’ve made a mistake in not trying again.  I’m worried that this will do perthis damage to our kids. I’m worried that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.  I’m scared that there’s something wrong with me because I couldn’t make it work.


    I’m usually usually such a bubbly, outgoing person but I’m so scared and worried I feel like I’m going crazy, I can’t stop crying and I feel like I can’t talk to any of my friends about this as they all have amazing partners and I feel like they wouldn’t understand.

    #39297 Report


    Take a deep breath.

    If you weren’t happy and it had been like that for a while, you couldn’t go on pretending.  But that doesn’t mean you won’t grieve for the life you hoped you’d have.  If you had been together a while, I don’t think feeling like that is unusual.   And given that we are all living through scary times, you wouldn’t be human if the stress didn’t break out sometimes.

    How old are your kids?



    #39298 Report


    We’d been together 15 years so not a small amount of time and the kids are 10 and 12.  We have to live together for the foreseeable future due to neither of us having the money to move out.

    Its all such a mess, he’s acting like he doesn’t care which I know is an act but it’s still getting to me

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