New to this please help !

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  • #42762 Report


    Hi everyone I’m new to this ,

    im going through a very stressful divorce, I found out my husband was having an affair and lied about it , he still won’t admit it , we have three children, he wants the children 50/50 everything is his way or no way ! I’ve had to leave the family home and move in with my parents as he refused to leave .

    He is very controlling and has refused to engage with mediation, I have my children’s interests first and would never ever stop him seeing the children,

    he has always worked from job to Job as he can’t keep one , I’ve been a stay at home mum and done everything for everyone,

    he had full control over all our money and we have been evicted from 4 houses as he lies about paying bills , he is very irresponsible.

    when the children go to school I want to make sure they are in a good stable  routine , homework , reading all up to date and I know he won’t do any of this ! He never has , he can’t get out of bed in the morning and i worry on his days they will always be late , I have engaged with mediation to try and work out between us a good routine for the children but he will not have any of it , it’s his way or no way and I’m absolutely lost what to do , has anyone else been in a similar situation?

    #42781 Report


    If you are the primary carer, you could make the children available to your ex during the summer holidays and see if he settles into a good weekly routine.

    When the schools go back, you don’t have to allow 50:50. How likely is he to do the school run, buy uniform, sort homework etc?  Lots of people want 50:50 until they are faced with school run hours and the relentlessness of it all, and then they get less enthusiastic.

    I’d just assume they stay with you during the week, and see him one or two evenings and every other weekend. If he won’t co-operate, stop access and let him take you to court for an access order.  Your kids wellbeing has to come first and if you can get them back into a school routine (Covid-allowing) then that comes first.

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